A Simple Rose
by 1607hannah
Summary: The darkness in her heart and the lightness in his. It would seem an unlikely match, yet Helga Hufflepuff finds herself drawn to a love that she knows cannot last or endure the battles the founders will face. All roses bare traces of green, however golden their petals.
1. The Briar and the Rose

**_The Briar and the Rose_**

_I fell asleep down by the stream,_  
_And there I had the strangest dream,_  
_And down by Brennan's Glenn there grows,_  
_A briar and a rose._

_There's a tree in the forest,_  
_But I don't know where,_  
_I built a nest out of your hair,_  
_And climbing up into the air,_  
_A briar and a rose._

_I don't know how long it has been,_  
_But I was born in Brennan's Glenn,_  
_And near the end of spring there grows,_  
_A briar and a rose._

_I picked the rose one early morn,_  
_I pricked my finger on a thorn,_  
_It had grown so high,_  
_It's winding wove,_  
_the briar around the rose._

_I tried to tear them both apart,_  
_I felt a thorn grow in my heart,_  
_And all dressed up in springs new clothes,_  
_The briar and the rose._

_And when I'm buried and in my grave,_  
_Tell me so I may know,_  
_Your tears may fall,_  
_To make love grow,_  
_The briar and the rose._

* * *

Folk songs are always a good way of setting the scene and I liked the tone of this one, bittersweet. Maybe I'm not looking carefully enough, but there aren't enough Helga Hufflepuff/Salazar Slytherin stories. So like any good writer when I couldn't find one, I wrote one myself! Hope you enjoy x


	2. A Simple Rose

_A Simple Rose_

I could always think better out of doors, but unlike Godric I didn't always need to be doing something. Rowena and Salazar always headed to their offices or in Rowena's case, the library. I, on the other hand, preferred to just meander round the forests and the grounds, not necessarily looking for something, just watching the world. I smiled to myself, rich earth clinging to my fingers. The day was bright and surprisingly warm, I'd long cast aside my mustard yellow cloak and instead was just wearing a plain, brown work dress. I pushed back a tendril of hair, realising all too late that I had left a smear of mud on my cheek. Oh well, it hardly mattered. I carefully removed the potted plant and placed it amongst the bed of other herbs. I attempted to rub my cheek with my shoulder. Once the plant was in and the earth firm around the base I leant back on my heels, enjoying the warm air and the coolness of long cast shadows, as the pine trees quavered in the wind. Perhaps I would take a walk around the lake once I was done, it was unlike my home, but I enjoyed the grey, still water and thick forests. I got up and brushed my hands down my apron.

"You look like a peasant." A voice sneered.  
I turned to look at Salazar as he walked down the hill, that ever present swagger and easy grace so obvious with his walk. When he stopped beside me he assumed a pose that would have looked overly practiced normally, but for him it was always easy. I rolled my eyes and picked up my tools, depositing the trowel and fork into the wicker basket by my side.  
"And you look like a lord who's never done an honest day's work in his life." I bit back.  
He smiled coolly at that, "Nicely played."  
"Checkmate." I replied and he laughed; I was almost surprised, Godric and I tended to be the ones who laughed, Rowena certainly did at times but she did not appreciate simple humour, Salazar tended to just give a small smirk. The laugh he gave was still controlled and quiet, but I smiled at him and then continued walking down the path. I heard him follow quickly.

"Does my company displease you, Helga?" he asked.  
"Nay, Salazar. But as I am 'peasant' I thought my company would be displeasing for you."  
Salazar gave another even smile, "I shall overlook it."  
I continued on my way, Salazar's tread beside me, before reaching a number of bushes I had planted. My fingers curled round several unopened, green buds and I couldn't hide my childish smile on seeing the small, sharp pink-red thorns. I was hoping for a pale white blossom. A long fingered, elegant hand rested near mine and I looked up to Salazar examining the plant.  
"I do not recognise this. It is no magical plant or herb, I take it?"  
I grinned, "Nay, this is a simple wild rose. Found all over this isle."  
He frowned further, "Then what is its use?"

I carefully inspected the leaves for blight or insects, but was content with what I saw,  
"Alas, it has none. It is but a flower to look fair and smell sweetly. Though there are some who say it relieves aches, especially those of the stomach, yet mint and wormwood work better."  
"Then why grow it at all?" his dark eyes near glared into mine, and I almost took a step back as though I feared him, yet what I felt was not fear in its entirety. I could feel a steady blush crawl to my cheeks and my heart takes a faster pace.

"I…I…Well, you all gave me the grounds and gardens to do with as I please."  
His lip curls slightly, "To plant useless flowers? It would serve us better if you planted potatoes."  
"I have already done that, the vegetable patch is doing nicely." I say a little proudly, jutting out my chin somewhat. Salazar snickers and takes my chin within his grasp, I can feel my mouth drop slightly and a burning sensation when his fingers touch me.  
"You ought not to do that, your face is too round to look proud." Salazar drops his hand and folds his arms over his chest, his eyes still on the roses.

He makes a soft 'Hmm' sound and after ignoring my annoyed look I turn to face the roses as well.  
"I like them. Can we not enjoy the things we find the most rewarding? Cannot something belong in our life, even though there is no real reason for it belonging there?"  
He looks puzzled for a moment, then swiftly turns on heel and goes back up the path. I run to catch up with him, cursing the long skirts I am wearing and my heavy boots.  
"Have I offended you, Salazar?"  
He keeps walking, even when I speak.  
"Nay, not at all."  
"Then why are you walking away from me?"  
"Am I? I assumed we both had work that needed to be done."

I grab hold of his sleeve and ignore the grimace he gives on seeing my muddy hands.  
"Would you mind releasing me, this tunic was only washed this morning."  
I rolled my eyes, "By magic, it won't take too much difficulty in flicking your wand and getting the soap to scrub it again." I still pull away my hand, but he remains watching me.  
"What did I say that angered you? I'd rather know it now, then have you trying to get me to guess."  
"I assure you, you have said nothing that has angered me."  
"Then why the sudden…?" I begin, but he raises his hand to stop me  
"I was going to write down your question and bring it up this evening; it would make a most interesting discussion. Do the things we love come easily to us? Or must we for ever suffer in their name? Perfection."

His tongue seemingly caressed the words he spoke. I shivered. He frowned once more and pulled my cloak more tightly around me, I was acutely aware of how tall he was in comparison to me. It wasn't too hard to be taller than myself, but somehow I was more aware of it with Salazar…maybe it was the arrogance, after all he looked down on me, in both senses of the word. Which was strange, Godric was taller than all of us, but I felt protected by his strength and stature. Rowena's grace stemmed from her elegant, slim figure and gently, swaying hips. My rounded figure and curves were more motherly than anything else.

"You are occupied?" Salazar said, that familiar smirk back. I shifted away from him and made my way up the path. He gave another laugh, "What have I said that has offended you?"  
"Nothing…I just…" he caught up with me and clasped my elbow.  
"What is it?"  
My cheeks reddened again and I cursed the day I was given pale skin. He vehemently scowled, until lines cut into his forehead and sharpened his nose. He was waiting for an answer.  
"I was just thinking about how short I am." I said.  
He smiled somewhat, "How short you are? By all things living, the vanity of women…"  
"I am not vain." I snapped, "I have no desire to be any taller than I am now, I was just merely thinking of how everyone else is a good deal taller than I. It was purely an observation, not a desire."  
"An observation well made, you are shorter than everyone else." he teased. I sighed and moved my arm away again.  
"Now may I continue walking?" I asked.

He gave a solemn bow, but still followed me as we made our way towards the main entrance. We continued thus, until reaching the carved doorway.  
"Do I irritate you?" Salazar asked.  
"You irritate everyone." I replied.  
"But you especially, do I irritate you?"  
I thought for a moment, shrugged and stamped my muddied feet on the steps. "I think irritation is something of a waste, it is futile to let yourself grow angry by the teasing of others."  
"But do you grow irritated by my teasing?" he came nearer to me; resting a hand on my basket so I lingered by the door. I was drawn to his eyes once more, they were such a dark grey, they were near black in colour. My cheeks flushed again and I bit my lower lip, shifted my weight from one foot to the other. He brought his hand up to my arm.  
"Or do you relish my teasing?" he smirked, his eyes sparkling as though ablaze with fire.  
I smiled back and shrugged, "I tend not to think on it."  
I gently pushed him away and walked into the corridor, he hastily followed but I quickened my pace.  
"Helga, that is not a proper answer." Salazar called to me. I giggled.  
"You are treading mud all over the stairs." he tried again.  
"Then you can clean it up, the magic should not be too difficult." I laughed.

* * *

So first chapter up, hope you enjoyed it. This was going to be a one-shot, but I think it'll probably be longer. Not too long, but a good couple of chapters, the characters just wanted development. Have to admit Salazar is a bit of a dick, so I'm fleshing out his character (he's still a dick, just a more complex one). Read and review please, I love reviews! ;)


	3. To Make Things Simple

**_To Make Things Simple_**

I folded the brown dress over a chair, already baring my apron. My house-elf, Wynny, had demanded I give her my boots, as she would not have me walk over the carpet in them. I had always liked Wynny, she was such a dear thing and feisty for a house-elf. I did not know of many who would demand their mistress remove her boots before entering her own room, but I certainly did not begrudge her for it. Though in fairness I was not really her mistress. I had found her lost and wandering, almost half starved, on the hillock above my tavern. She had been wearing a misshapen and patched cloak, which I soon found out to be made of an old curtain with large stitches and a proper human hat, declaring her to be a free elf. She had been quiet and miserable when I found her, but I soon fed and cheered her up. She did not speak of her previous master or mistress, insisting I was a good friend to have and she still called me Mistress Hufflepuff, yet I never really saw myself as a true mistress.

I took off my underskirts, after Wynny disapparated with my boots to have them cleaned in the kitchen. On this occasion I lazily flicked my wand at the door to lock it and then removed my stockings. I untied my hair and long, faint, red-golden streams hung down my back. I climbed into the wooden tub, the water rising a few inches and then sunk into the warmth.  
"Warm water is heaven." I muttered softly. I relaxed for a while and then picked up a bar of soap to wash the grime from my hands and nails. I gave it a quick sniff and grinned, the faint scent of roses. I rubbed the bar over my arms and chest, then round my neck and after wetting my hair, through it. There was a quiet knock on my door.

"I'm busy." I called out.  
"Doing what?" Salazar's voice came from the other side.  
I grinned, "Bathing."  
There was no reply and I rinsed out the last of the soap from my hair.  
"Do you have your wand with you?" he asked.  
"Not in the bath, no."  
I heard his tut. "A defenceless place to be."  
I laughed and reached for a vial of oil, pouring some into my hand and massaging my scalp.  
"I trust you enough not to come into my chamber and disturb me. I can be surprisingly quick in reaching for my wand and you can expect a nasty hex if you tried." I said.  
I heard his soft chuckle, "Alas, Helga. I do not trust myself."

He teasingly shook the handle of my door and I reached out towards my dress, my wand held in the belt.  
"Don't you dare…What did you want anyway?"  
Salazar fell silent once more and I did not want to lean back in the bath, in case I missed his words.  
"Salazar?" I said after the silence became too heavy.  
"It was not important; I will see you at dinner."  
I heard him turn to leave and cried out to him again, "Salazar, what is it?"  
The room became silent once more and I heard him shift his weight, while he considered speaking, at the door. I heard him sigh softly.  
"It matters not; I will speak to you later." he swiftly marched from my outer chambers and left me frustrated in the cooling bath water.

I finished the rest of my washing and once I had dried myself, I pull on one of my formal evening dresses. It is a soft buttery yellow; I know none of my dresses are as fine as Rowena's, but that would be impractical if they were. Better to admire Rowena's from afar, than ruin my own finest with dirt from the garden and cooking in the kitchen. I suppose I could easily mend them with the right potion or spell, but I could never wear such elegant designs and feel comfortable. Nay, it is better to be me and be happy that way. Peasant dresses or no. I leave my hair a little damp and then hurriedly plait it. It will dry off later, especially if we remain talking around the fire, as so often happens with our dinners. I tie the belt around my waist again and push my wand into the leather holder. Then make my way to Godric's chambers, for that is where we dine tonight. The Great Hall will be our place of dining when the construction of Hogwarts is complete and filled with students, but for now we dine in one another's rooms. Mostly due to my insistence, I found the Great Hall too frighteningly large and empty, even with Godric's expressive manners and Rowena's skill of wit.

"Ah, Helga. I trust your bath was pleasant." Salazar opened the door on my knock, behind him I saw Rowena and Godric already seated at the round, oak table. The warm room was covered in hangings of red and gold, but then Godric had always favoured grandeur and beauty. The fire lit the room brightly and the flames illuminated a tapestry of a roaring lion and a knight clad in armour, one hand bearing a sword, the other buried in the lion's thick mane.  
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise I was late." I said and moved into the room, avoiding Salazar's gaze, even though I felt it upon my back when I entered.  
"Not at all, Helga. Rowena arrived only moments ago." Godric leapt up and moved a chair back for me. I thanked him and sat down. Rowena smiled at me in welcome.

"Get eating or the soup will get cold." Godric said, I followed the others in picking up my spoon. I breathed in the scent of thyme wafting up from the silver bowls, with the soup being a rich yellow in colour.  
"What is the soup?" I asked.  
Godric shrugged and Rowena gave a small laugh, "Do not tell Helga that, she will be most cross with you for not knowing."  
"Soup is soup." Godric laughed, winking at me, "I assume it's potato or swede."  
I placed a spoonful in my mouth, swallowed and then said, "Parsnip, actually." Godric chuckled and continued to eat his. I rolled my eyes.  
"Do you not care what you eat or where it came from?"  
"As long as it isn't poisoned, I'm not too fussed." Godric said. "Speaking of poison, did I ever tell you about the time someone tried to kill me by dipping my boots in poison?"  
"Poisoning your boots?" Rowena said.  
"They weren't the brightest of sparks; assuredly you would have come up with a better and easier way of doing it." he passed that warm smile and golden look onto Rowena, who grinned and nodded.  
"Aye, I could do, luckily I like you too much."

* * *

"…Salazar, what did you wish to speak about?" I asked, having quite forgotten Salazar's question, after Godric regaled us with several stories of attempted murders; until Rowena bade him stop and got him to speak on the tower that would serve as his house's common room. I was only reminded when the conversation moved onto the grounds of Hogwarts and how my gardens did. We were already eating baked apples, with currents and honey, thick cream to pour on top by the time I recalled his question.

"Ah yes…" he lent back in his chair and gazed at the table, as though deep in thought, "I met with Helga today when she was tending some wild roses. An entirely useless plant…"  
"Unless required to show some sentiment, a lover's intent." Rowena smiled mischievously. Salazar raised an eyebrow and Rowena fell silent.  
"As I was saying, an entirely useless plant. With no magical properties and very few herbal qualities…"  
"The thorns can be used in a love potion." Godric said, he was casually leaning back in his chair, arms behind his head. He grinned benignly at Salazar, who scowled vehemently at the interruption.  
"Such potions tends to have a short term effect, either if the person stops supplying it or a remedy is found." Rowena interjected. Salazar filled his wine glass again and carefully took a sip.

"This brings us to my discussion points. What purpose does something serve if it has no real purpose? Or as Helga said, 'Cannot something belong in our life, even though there is no real reason for it belonging there?'" he finished.  
"Salazar, you cannot suggest there must be some reason to find things fair. For one person they may find a painting or building fair, but to you, it may not be. It is all a matter of taste." Godric said.  
"Perhaps I have better taste than others." Salazar smirked and Godric chuckled. "But surely the better something is, the more it serves a purpose."  
"Perhaps its purpose is to be beautiful." Rowena said.  
"Would you desire to only have the purpose of beauty and not be considered to have anything else?" Salazar asked.  
"Nay, I would be offended. But then I am not a rose and I find my purpose through wisdom and learning." Rowena replied.  
"Though you are as fair as one, with all the wisdom you deserve." Godric raised his glass to her and she rolled her eyes. "But what does Helga think? After all, tis her beloved roses she must defend."

I carefully folded my napkin, slowly thinking as to what I should say. I knew Salazar and Rowena often grew impatient with my apparent slowness at times, but I did not like rushing my thoughts.  
"I think…My roses serve a purpose in making me happy, in seeing them bloom and thrive. I have no need in seeing them make anyone else happy, but they do so for me. Thus they serve a purpose."  
"In selfish happiness?" Salazar said, I looked up and smiled.  
"Who said it was selfish? Anyone is welcome to share in my happiness of them."  
"Well put, Helga." Godric said, draining his glass and pouring himself another measure.

"My second question, is paraphrasing what Helga said somewhat. 'Can we not enjoy the things we find the most rewarding?' and so, are the things we enjoy in life easy to come by or must we find them through hard work and strife?" Salazar asked.  
Rowena put down her spoon, "I believe it unfair to conjoin the phrase 'hard work' with strife. There is no need for the two to be paired. Hard work can be enjoyable and rewarding."  
Even Salazar conceded her point to be fair. Godric placed a large hand on his chin and rubbed it thoughtfully.  
"That is a good question. Many would have us believe the best moments in life are easy to find, yet whether that is true…Hmm, I think I would be in more favour to say nay. Life is challenging, but rightly so. Enjoyment stems through finding and pursuing what we desire, gaining and having the reward when done."  
"But if something is too difficult to gain or win over, then perhaps it is the wrong thing entirely." I said.  
"What do you mean by that Helga?" Rowena asked.  
"Well…sometimes…I…" I could feel myself getting flustered as all their gazes turned to look at me and I tried to recall what I had been going to say. Godric gently placed a hand on top of mine.  
"Your opinions are valid and well put, gather your thoughts, we shall wait."

I breathed a sigh and smiled a little, Godric's green eyes lit up and he gripped my hand a little tighter.  
"Will you always worry if your students present you with a question, Helga?" Salazar said. His lips were a thin line of displeasure and his eyes were narrowed, I saw them flicker down to Godric's hand resting on my own, then look back to my own.  
"Nay, of course I will do my best. But I find the example I shall use now uneasy."  
Godric put back his head and laughed then, "We must surely hear it now!"  
I nervously bit my lip, took another breath, then said, "My example is love…"  
I could feel my cheeks heat up once more, but I quickly took a sip of wine and continued, "Often I have seen men fall in love with women they have no hope in gaining the affection of, whether because of family disagreements or status or another reason entirely, sometimes just simple dislike on the part of the woman. Yet, if the man is kind and honourable, he may have another woman in love with him. He may easily win her heart and affection, warm and good as it is, but instead he spurns her…"

I tailed off, but Rowena and Godric nodded, Salazar looked deep in thought.  
"A fair point." Rowena said.  
"But is it not more honourable to seek his lady-love's affection?" Godric said.  
"If there is no hope in the matter and he will never gain her affection what then? If he wishes so much for love and companionship, surely he could learn to love the other woman's affection in time?" Rowena said.  
"Can love be learned?" asked Godric.  
"I have witnessed some arranged matches, turning to love within a few years." Rowena said, "Learned love is not an impossibility."  
"My point is to have something so near and so willing to be given; surely it is more a crime to ignore it? To never consider it?" I said.  
"In so many stories, they praise it when a man purses the object of his affection." Godric said.  
"Yet, we speak not of stories, but of reality. I believe it to be far more likely a man would give up his affection for the first woman and seek another, rather than to persist in seeking the foremost." Rowena said.  
"I concede that is more likely and true." Godric said.

Salazar suddenly leaned forward, his fingers pressed together and his eyes remaining fixed on mine, "Do you believe then, Madam Hufflepuff, love is not worth pursing?"  
"I…No, any pursuit of love is noble."  
"Then why do you believe that a man should forget what he truly longs for and instead takes another, the second best?"  
I fiddle with my napkin again and then look back up to him, "And what if the man did not realise what love that second woman could give him? That her love for him was far superior and more willingly given, than any false affection the first woman must pretend to give."  
"If you were in love with someone would you so willingly give them up? Would it be so easy to part company with them for another, however well they professed their love?"  
"I did not say that…I just think many overlook what they could have, in some desperate hope that their affection will be returned. You forget Salazar I saw daily trials of love, men in love with unobtainable women and women making sheep-eyes at men who…"

"Sheep-eyes?" Godric interrupted.  
"You know," I made my eyes wide and stared balefully at him, giving a little lover-lorn sigh while doing so. Godric gave another roaring laugh.  
"Ah yes, I'm well acquainted with that expression. I break far too many hearts."  
Rowena chuckled and gave Godric a withering look.  
"Anyway, sometimes when you are presented with such an image there is a desire to make things simple. To make people realise who they could be with, what love they could have…that in many ways they are wasting on another, who will never return their affection. In seeing all three parties suffer and no one find happiness…it is difficult not to wish something could be done." I finished; I considered it a rather lame ending to my argument, but I believed I had argued my point well enough.


	4. Green Grows the Lily O

_Green Grows the Lily O_

Godric got up and stretched, Rowena stopped reading her book and looked up towards him.  
"Forgive me, Rowena. The hour grows late and I am tired."  
She neatly placed the bookmark back inside the pages and closed the cover.  
"You are right, it is late. I think we should all depart for bed." Rowena got up and placed the worn book under her arm. I confess I had not been listening well to the story she had told. The stories of Nimeuh and Morgan La Fey being common enough in my house, after all, they were Welsh tales. I tidied away the cloak I had been repairing and put the thread and needle into my sewing set. Salazar got up; picking the scrolls and documents he had been studying from the table. He went to the door and opened it, Godric beamed and clapped him on the shoulder.  
"Goodnight, Salazar."  
"Goodnight, friend."

Godric kissed both Rowena and I on the cheek and bid us goodnight.  
"So the moon and sun depart to bed." he said.  
Rowena chuckled and jovially hit him with her book, "That's enough poetry from you."  
I hid a yawn behind my hand, not wanting to appear rude, but just feeling very tired.  
"Come, Helga is weary," Salazar moved over to me and put my arm on his, I was too tired and full of food to argue.

"I am perfectly able to go to my own rooms, Salazar." I said as we mounted the stairs towards my own chambers.  
"Forgive me for acting the gentleman."  
"It is late; you should depart to your own. I have no desire to keep you from them." I said, hiding another yawn.  
"I am not as tired as you and a few minutes from my bed shall not harm me." Salazar kept his eyes focused on the nearing doorway and my outer chambers. The room was cast in shadows, the fire in my grate having fallen low, the moonlight slipped between the heavy brocade of the curtains. He took me to the door, head kept lowered and when we reached the dark wood, he dropped my arm but lingered there.

"Salazar…are you well?"  
He rubbed the back of his neck, "Aye, quite well." He said, his voice sounding forced and pained. I reached out towards his arm, Salazar jolted away from my palm.  
"Salazar?"  
He momentarily closed his eyes as though my voice hurt him and shifted away when I tried to put my hand on his arm again. I dropped my arm by my side and sighed, I always found him strange and at times incomprehensible. His strange moods and long silences meant I was never at ease with Salazar.  
"Well goodnight." I said and he gave a small, formal bow and marched from my chambers. I shrugged and went into my own room. It no longer worried me greatly that I could not understand him.

* * *

I was lying underneath the warm sheets, the cover a similar colour to my cloak with my embroidery decorating the outside edge, patterns of golden daises and roses, I had attempted sewing four badges at the end without magic, but resorted to using it to stop them looking like dogs. My mind had troubled me for some time as to what Salazar had meant, but I had pushed the thought away and now let the warm comfort of my bed and the small fire in the grate lull me to sleep. I felt myself beginning to drift and the heaviness of dinner and working hard in my gardens encourage me, but then my mind suddenly pushed forth another image. It was strange, as though I was standing apart from myself, watching myself.

Salazar and I stood near the rosebush, his fingers holding onto my chin once more and though I was apart from myself, I could feel myself blush at the thought of his touch. Well that was ridiculous, I thought, why would his touch embarrass me? Nay, that was folly. It cannot solely be his; I easily blush at any gesture of kindness…Yet his was not a kind gesture, he had told me my face was too rounded. From this angle perhaps he was right, my face was definitely round, but not fat. I folded my arms over my chest and jutted my chin out proudly again. Until my face burned bright red and I opened my mouth in shock. He had lowered his head and kissed me/her. Well that did certainly not happen! Was this a dream or idle thought? Surely it could not be a dream, as I was aware of my being and that this was not a dream? Idle thought…no, it could not be that. I had no desire for that…but then I was thinking it. These were my thoughts in my head. Oh this was too complicated.

I opened my eyes and rolled over to the other side of the bed, my heart hammering in my chest. Little thoughts still creeping into my head. What would it be like to kiss him…this bed was too large and cold to lie in alone…what would it be like to be held against him. My cheeks flamed scarlet once more and I whispered furiously for my mind to shut up. I found it unnerving to look at Salazar as it was, day dreams of hurried kisses would not help things further. I scowled furiously and attempted to fall asleep, ignoring the temptation of going back to the memory of standing by wild roses and that ache I knew I had for him. We were too different. How could I even consider kissing someone who was so cold and apart from everything else? If he couldn't see the value of beauty, then love would be beyond such an understanding.

* * *

I dressed and ate hurriedly that morning; I did not eat with the others as I normally did. I claimed an early start was needed in order to examine the rarer plants in the herbology houses, a subject I was particularly looking forward to teaching when our students arrived. There was some truth in the matter, the Lovage, Fluxweed and the Flitterbloom all needed pruning and tending to. In all truth I did not wish to see Salazar, for I knew no matter what I did I would still feel flustered and embarrassed by what I had thought of last night. When I arrived in the warm, glass houses I excused the blush on my cheeks for the heat and kept my hands busy. But even with my mind devoted to the careful placement of manure, watering and pruning, occasional thoughts of Salazar's hands pressing on my stomach, his chest leaning against my back, his mouth…

"Oh now, Helga. Stop this. It is ridiculous. Of all the foolish notions…"  
"Though I doubt talking to yourself is any better." I nearly dropped the pot I was holding on hearing Salazar's voice. He smirked at my surprised expression and walked into the greenhouse.  
"You…you made me jump."  
"Forgive me, silent tread has been a fortitude of mine for many years. I have some need of Motherwort, if you have any to spare."  
"That's in herb patch number five."

I took off my gloves and picking up a pair of shears guided Salazar to the separated herb patches.  
"I was unaware we had so many herb patches." he said.  
"Seven in all, for each year." I said, he nodded. We reached herb patch number five and I had no difficulty in locating the Wort.  
"How much do you need?" I asked.  
"A couple of sprigs."  
I neatly cut the springs from the lower base and handed them up to him, he put them in his belt.  
"Where were you at breakfast? I asked Godric, but a sensible answer from that man is nigh on impossible." Salazar muttered.  
"I needed an early start, I did not have time for debates and I did not want to appear rude in leaving breakfast early. So I ate in the kitchen and then came out here."

Salazar nodded and then a faint smile came to his lips, "You have dirt on your cheek."  
"Oh…" I blushed almost instantly and quickly went to brush it off, but Salazar caught my hand and drew it away. His thumb carefully stroked my cheek. It was as though his touch burnt me and I could feel my throat constrict slightly at the deft tracing of his hand.  
"There we go, Madam Peasant."  
I bit my lip and swallowed. I mustn't think of anything, if any of those thoughts came to my head…I did not want his touch or seek his affection, I was merely being foolish. I drew my head away from his firm hand and walked back to the greenhouses.

"Why do we always do this?" I heard him call to me.  
"Do what?" I turned to look at him, but when my gaze reached his eyes I looked down to my feet. I heard his steady tread up the path and then his hand under my chin, forcing me to look up at him. I blinked several times and cast my eyes away from his dark gaze.  
"Helga, look at me." he commanded.  
I tried to breathe evenly, but my stomach felt twisted into a knot and I could feel my heart slamming against my ribcage.  
"Look at me." Salazar's voice was cold and I finally lifted my eyes, his eyes hit mine and my mind swirled at his gaze. I staggered a little and his arm quickly came around my waist, but I did not feel any steadier with his palm resting on the small of my back.

"Why do you always fly from me?" he whispered.  
"I don't." I muttered, shifting my gaze away again.  
"Do not lie to me." I heard the tremor of anger within his voice, even though it remained cool and steady. A chill ran through my spine and I shivered. Salazar moved closer towards me, the grasp of his arm tightening. If I went any nearer I would be pressed against his chest, his hips resting just above mine.  
"I don't mean to…It's just we are all so busy and you…I never really thought I would hold much interest for you." I stammered.  
His lip curled upwards into a smile, "Nay, Helga. You fascinate me." he breathed and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up as the coolness of his voice trickled over my skin. "Godric, for all his bravado, appreciates book learning as much as Rowena and I. Yet you…How is it a witch can find such pleasure in such simple things? Hands caked in mud, weeding her garden, or baking bread and crafting stews in the kitchen."

"I like reading…" I mumbled and was glad I only heard his snicker, instead of having to look upon the grim smile upon his face, "It is what I have always done, it is habit. I lived in a muggle village; after all, gardening and cooking could not be done by magic. I feared the risk of being interrupted by a muggle and having to explain how my carrots could chop themselves."  
"Yet why continue it now? It seems half wasteful when your talents could be spent on better things."  
I felt a slither of anger slide into my stomach, I fearlessly looked up, "I do not consider them wasteful. I take pride in nurturing my plants and those people around me. Now, if you would kindly let me go…"

He grasped me tighter to him and his hips jutted into mine, the slither of anger was replaced by a slither of desire. I felt a gasp pulled from my lips and heard his soft laugh.  
"Did I ever make mention to you, Helga, I am an accomplished Legilimens?"  
I felt my mouth drop open once more and I quickly shut it again, "You bluff."  
"Perhaps…you are quite easy to read. But shall I tell you of what I did last night?"  
"I have no need to find out." I muttered furiously and tried to pull away from his tight grip, when he did not let me go my hand went towards my belt. But he was too quick for me and grabbed my hand in his.  
"You'd draw your wand on me?"  
"No…Please Salazar, I have no desire for this."  
He drew nearer me, his body pressed against mine, his mouth inching closer to my ear, "I saw what you saw, I know full well what you desire…I have often found it enjoyable, lying with women and hearing them beg…"

I took my chance and slapped him forcefully across the face, he staggered back and I couldn't quite believe I had had the nerve and gall to strike him.  
"Don't you ever do such a thing to me again." I said, fury making my entire body shake and the grip on my wand tremble. I clung on tighter, trying to prevent my trembling looking like fear. His hand had lingered on his face and though his eyes glanced at his wand, I saw him decide against it. I almost ran up the hill and into the castle, making my way to my room and locking the door. My breathing was heavy but not from the quick pace I had taken up towards my chambers. I poured myself a glass of water and quickly drank it down; finding my throat relax and my heart begin to slow. I sat by my bed and pulled my cloak around me, taking comfort in the familiar warmth and the smell of Lily-of-the-Valley. I knew I was frightened, yet strangely drawn to him, desire bubbling up in my throat. I was scared of him and scared of desiring him.  
"No good can come of this." I muttered.

* * *

I sat by the fire for a while, gazing into the flickering flames. I did think of going to the library, where Rowena would almost undoubtedly be, or back into the grounds. Yet I decided against it, the library was a favoured haunt of Salazar as well and although there was the chance Godric might be in the grounds, finding him would be another matter entirely. I lingered in my rooms, safe and secure behind locked doors, until there was a gentle tap on the door and my entire body stiffened.  
"Helga?" his voice whispered through the wood. I remained still and quiet. He repeated my name again, "Helga? I know you are in here, please let me in."  
I did not make any movement towards the door. I heard him inhale deeply as though the words pained him to say them.  
"I am here to apologise…I should not have threatened you like that within the grounds."  
I drew my wand out and muttered the incantation to release the door, it swung open and Salazar stood there. He at least looked repentant.  
"I am sorry." he muttered.  
"You frightened me." I said boldly, he lowered his head and dug his thumbs into his belt.

I turned to look at the fire once more and he approaches me, his footfall heavy on the wooden floor. I nervously shift away from him and he looks ashamed once more. It is a strange expression on his face and although I have seen it in a milder form, this one is of true shame. He kneels beside me and gently takes my hand in his.  
"What I have done is…is foul and unkind, I would never wish for you to fear me. I would ask for forgiveness, though I know in many ways this crime is unforgivable."  
He raises the knuckles of my hand to his lips and kisses them; I am surprised how firm the gentle kiss seems. His eyes glance up to mine and I sigh and look away. I am torn, his bid to gain my forgiveness should earn it…yet why does my heart fear such an act? I press my lips together, yet when I look at him I know instantly that I must. There is none of the usual coldness or malicious teasing within them; he would never seek this forgiveness with anyone else.

"I forgive you, just promise me you won't ever do that again and if you can perform…Legilimency you will not use it against me again."  
"I swear it." I frown a little at his unusual declaration, but he swiftly rises to his feet and gives me a well-practiced bow. I get up myself and stow away my wand.  
"We shall not speak of this to the others; it would be better that way." I say, he gives that restrained smile once more.  
"Good, I am glad to hear it."  
We stand in silence once more, his careful, dark eyes watching me…his expression almost one of observation.

"Did you make use of the Motherwort? It will wilt otherwise." I ask and his smirk returns.  
"Alas, that was merely an excuse."  
I frown, "For what?"  
"For this," his hand reaches to my cheek and I stop myself from flinching, but I cannot stop my gasp when he lowers his head and softly grazes my lips with his. His skin is warm and for a moment he rests his forehead against mine, slowly breathing a sigh on my lips. I long for more kisses almost as soon as he draws his mouth away and I was grateful for the bedpost behind me. I curse myself for it, but I cannot help the small whimper fall from my lips. Salazar smiles easily and walks away from me towards the door.  
"I will see you at dinner." he says before he leaves. I mutely bow my head, unsure of what I should say. His lips burned my mouth; the twisting in my stomach has become a desperate ache. I want him.

* * *

Sorry for the delay, I've recently decided to rewrite one of my older fanfics, so I'm busy with that. But when that's done, I'll be posting/writing more of this.


	5. The Flickering Flames

**The Flickering Flames**

If I couldn't bear gazing at Salazar for long periods of time before, now it is nigh on impossible to even glance at him at dinner. Rowena embarrassed me further by asking if I was well or whether the fire was banked too highly.  
"Nay Rowena, I am well. The fire is fine and I would not wish to discomfort you…"  
"It is fine, Helga." Godric flicks his wand at the fire and the flames die a little, Salazar lights some more candles for us to see better. He pours a glass of water and hands it to me.  
"I think it is not illness, the wine is rich this evening and I believe Helga has drunk it a little too quickly." Salazar smirks and casts me a hidden look, his eyes dark. I busy myself with the water goblet and drink deeply; I nearly let out a small squeak when I feel Salazar's hand softly glide up my leg; burning heat courses through my veins. I surreptitiously pry away his hand, but he captures it in his, the thumb gently circling over my knuckles. I bite my lower lip and drink my water again. I glare at him, but he blithely ignores my angry glance and continues conversing with Godric on the best way to seek council and agreement with the Centaurs.

"Rowena I think you may be right, I do confess to feel a little ill. I think I will depart to bed." I say, standing up and successfully pulling my hand away from Salazar's grasp.  
"Oh very well, my dear. I hope you feel better by the morning." she said, gently embracing me.  
"Do you wish for me to accompany you?" Godric asked, already rising from his seat.  
"No Godric, I will cope well enough. My room is not so far from here. I bid you all goodnight."  
"Call upon us if you feel worse." Godric says.  
I laugh softly, "It is only a little tiredness and sickness, I will be well by morning, I assure you. Salazar is probably right; the wine made matters no better."

I note with a little pride Salazar looks frustrated and offended by my lie, but his presence was making me feel too dizzy to comprehend anything within this room. I give a swift curtsey and leave for my room, sighing with relief when I do so. I can feel my head grow clearer and my breathing become deeper, unlike the shallow breaths I took when I saw his look upon me. I may not have known a man, but tavern work has taught me the looks of all men and women and his was one I'd seen upon many men. It was a look of nothing but pure, unadulterated desire, the heat from his eyes so strong I was surprised Rowena and Godric did not even notice it.

I poured the stream of water into a bowl and sunk the cloth into the cold water, gleaming in soft moonlight and the silver of the bowl. I was so tired from feeling heated and his strange lust frightened me. I let rivulets of water run down my neck and face, cooling my skin and with the windows open sending cold shivers running over my body. I had pulled the windows open as soon as I had entered my room and the cold air, smelling of the pine trees and heather, blew through, sending ripples through the curtains and making my nightgown whip around my feet. As I pressed a towel to my face and neck, the wind blew too strongly and my candle went out. I let out a little cry of surprise, but then shook myself and lit it once more. As I picked it up and turned, I jumped when I saw Salazar smiling at me. I had not heard him enter the room. He shook his head and tutted, then began to close my windows.

"You will get ill if you wash while cold wind pours through your chambers." he pulled the drapes firmly over my windows, till there was only my candle for light. Salazar flicked his wand at the fireplace and the log burst into flames.  
"You did not knock." I finally said.  
He neared me, lip curling up and he gave a chuckle.  
"Is that what most worries you, Madame Peasant? That I forgot my manners."  
He took the candle from my grasp and placed it upon the table by my bed. With great care and precision he deftly touched my collarbone and I felt those well-known shivers run through me again.

"Salazar…" I whispered, it had meant to sounds sterner and my attempt to push him away from me, however frail; but instead my voice sounded husky and thick, as though I desired him…Nay, not 'as though' for I knew I did. His eyes flickered up to mine and he did not break his gaze as his finger slowly drew a line down my neck towards the soft lacing of my gown. I felt my breath hitch when his finger strayed between my breasts. Salazar's eyes were drawn to my chest and his hand lingered there. I cleared my throat and his eyes instantly went back to mine, in that look I could feel my legs shaking and I knew if I didn't grab hold of something, either him or the bed, there was a good chance I would embarrass myself and collapse.

"Salazar…" I tried again, shame catching hold of my tongue and stopping my speech. Those eyes looked as though they could reach the very soul of me, my very existence, revealing every truth and every lie of my being. It was both frightening and exhilarating. He very quickly pushed an arm round my waist and I could feel myself sag in his grip, my legs entirely useless. I could have screamed in frustration at my stupidity and uselessness.  
"Will you give yourself to me?" he murmured, his lips so close to my cheek I could feel his warm breath against my skin.  
Desire welled in my belly, I could scarcely speak.  
"Well?" he said.  
"I can't…" I finally managed.  
"Why?" he asked, no cajoling or gentleness within his voice.  
"I am…I have not…"  
He leaned back a little, a smug smile upon his lips, "You have not lain with a man before?"  
I mutely shook my head and he laughed, the cold sound filling my chambers, before his eyes turned back towards me and hungrily took in every curve and part of my body.  
"Then I will be your best and your first."

It was almost too rough, but he pulled me against him and pushed his lips on mine. His mouth hot and heavy, barely giving me chance to breathe as he nipped and suckled on my mouth. I could feel my mind almost begin to drift as every inch of my skin longed for him, desired his touch all over my heat. I wanted his coolness to quench my thirst; the warmth was making me dizzy. His kiss was demanding and as soon as I had opened my lips just a little he seized his chance and pushed his tongue into my mouth. It almost shocked me and first and my eyes shot open at the intrusion, but it was nice in a way and I grew to like his tongue flickering over my own. I could feel my arms wrap around his shoulders and his free hand grip the back of my head, a handful of hair within his grasp, his other arm still holding tightly to my waist. I no longer even cared when I moaned wantonly into his mouth, I felt his shudder of longing and he pushed me back to the bed. My legs gave way as soon as my knees hit the end of the bed and he swiftly followed me, near pulling me up the bedspread, till my head lay on the pillow and Salazar hovered over me, I longingly reached up towards his chest. He pressed himself into my hips and I could feel underneath his breeches his body responding to his own desires. His fingers once more traced the line of my collar, the curve of my breasts, my breath shallow and rapid as his touch drew nearer towards my nipples. Ever teasingly he drew his hand away, that satisfied smirk back on his lips. He lowered his head towards my chest.

"I've thought about this ever since we met…ever since I saw that wench with her honey hair tied up in a loose knot, roses in her cheeks…I thought of making your eyes gleam with longing for me."

I was only half listening to him, as he roamed my chest, his teeth gently scraping and then biting my flesh, little red marks and purple bruises smattering my collarbones. I felt his tongue flick out and play with the silk ties of my gown. His eyes were so concentrated and busy, I pulled up my hand and ran it through his hair; thick, dark locks snaring between my fingers. He lifted himself up a little and grasped my hand in his, his mouth at once sucking and kissing my palm. I saw his dark smile as he stopped his kissing and reached down to caress my mouth, his hand tracing around my lips. I closed my eyes in bliss, feeling his hand draw my mouth open. I look up to him again with surprise, his fingers pushing into my mouth, urging me to suck on them. He gives a soft groan when I do, his other hand tightly squeezes my breast and my hips buck up into him. Oh I want him; I want him within my legs, his hands pressing against my flesh, moulding me to his ways. A cry that almost sounds angry escapes him and I feel my blood freeze a little when he withdraws his wand, but he places it on the laces of my nightgown and at once little sparks of fire burn away the thin nightdress, leaving no mark on my skin or hurting me in anyway. His eyes are greedy and desperate, once more taking in my naked form. Salazar pushes away the wand and I hear it clatter on the floor, I am honoured by his willingness with me, he is defenceless now.

His hands curve around my breasts, full and heavy in his hands. He smiles.  
"I've thought about these, lying with you and holding these creamy, white breasts. But my thoughts are nothing compared to their real beauty."  
"I have been told my figure is too full, too womanly to be desired." I want to hear him defend my body, praise its worth; but he makes not a word and places his mouth on my neck, he bites the flesh hard till I let out a torn moan, half of pleasure and pain. He raises his head again.  
"Do not seek flattery from me, Helga. You are better than that. You are not, by any means, Rowena. Slim and lithe, elegant…your lips are only red when I bite them. I would be a fool not to believe Rowena is beautiful. But she is too cold for my tastes…"  
"Too cold? I would have thought that suited you perfectly." I said, I do not know where the strength to speak had come from, but I felt strangely emboldened by his obvious desire for me.  
"As would I…yet instead, what I desire is you!" Salazar seems half surprised at his own choosing, "You with your earthy, simple ways. You chose a badger, for heaven's sake, as your emblem!"

I glare at him and my anger is heady and mixed, passion and desire and hatred...I pull him down next to me and swiftly bite his neck. His hands jolt away from my body in shock and I feel an intense pleasure in knowing I can shock and overwhelm him as much as he can to me. But he soon seizes my waist and pushes me tightly against him. I do not let him have the pleasure of seeing my surprise of being so near his engorged penis. I run my hands through his hair and hold him down on the pillows, while I bit and nip at his mouth, before grazing his Adam's apple with my teeth. I unfasten the ties of his tunic, pushing the fabric away and almost ripping the fine shirt underneath, I splay my fingers on the warm skin, gently toying with the curls on his chest. He pulls away the tunic and undershirt, the smell of him: parchment, ink, musk, man. His leg tackles mine and rolls me onto my back again; he grips my arms and holds me against the bed. I try to struggle under his grip, but he will not relent.

Salazar chuckles softly, "When did you become so wanton?"  
I glare at him again, "It is well known badgers are omnivores and they can easily kill snakes."  
His smile broadens, "Can they indeed?" but he silences my answer with another kiss. He pulls his weight off me and carefully runs a hand down my body towards my legs; his hand drifts over my belly, towards the hair between my legs. I clamp them together tightly and he gives a laugh, softly kissing me by my throat, no more biting.

"Open your legs." he murmurs. I feel my cheeks heating up again as his fingers stroke down my thighs and then back up to my hips. Salazar raises himself to look at me, before placing a firm kiss on my mouth.  
"I won't do anything yet, I just want to feel how ready you are."  
"How do you know I'm ready?" I say and he laughs again, but it is infinitely gentler than his usual mocking sneer.  
"I don't. Open your legs and we will know."  
I gaze up at him, wanting to know if he speaks the truth, but when he remains looking intently at me I finally open my legs and his hand dips between the folds of flesh.

"Oh God…" I mutter, as his hand is covered in my wetness and he strokes o so slowly up and down the warm flesh. I ball my hands into fists and try to remain still on the bed, fighting the urge to moan as his clever fingers gently rub against my nub, sometimes quickening their pace, sometimes drawing down so slowly I want to scream. He suddenly stops and I open my eyes.  
"Why did you stop?" I ask, he gives a lazy shrug. I glare at him again.  
"This…" here he slowly draws one finger down my wet folds and I press my lips tightly together, "Does not seem to be causing you much pleasure; I thought it best to stop."  
I bite my tongue and he languidly strokes up my leg, brushing my hip, my waist, once more drawing circles around my breasts.  
"It did…" I mutter, glancing away from his eyes. He rolls on top of me again, but lifts his hip up a little and taking my hand makes me grasp the hardness in his breeches. He pushes against it and lowers his mouth near my ear, running his tongue over the sensitive rim.  
"I want to hear you. I want to hear you panting and moaning, begging me to fuck you. I want my name on your lips. I want to claim you." He gets up and for a moment of sheer panic I think he is leaving, but he unties the laces on his breeches and shoves them over his hips.

His skin is pale, but the hair by his crotch is dark. I barely know if I should look at it or ignore it entirely, I cast away my eyes and hear him climb back on the bed.  
"It is only another body part, Helga." he says, as he lies tantalisingly close by my side.  
"It is a very intimate body part." I whisper, trying to keep my eyes away from his. He chuckles and takes my hand once more; I clench it into a fist, but he presses it flat with his own hand and then I feel his…  
"What is it like?" he asks.  
"Embarrassing." I cry and he gives such a broad laugh it would not be unmistakable on Godric.  
"Nay, I mean what does it feel like?"

I cautiously move my hand over the smooth head, down the shaft into the thick, curled hair.  
"Soft and firm." I sneak a little look down and it does not seem so frightening now. I look back up to his willing smile. His hand rests firmly on mine and he draws my hand up to the tip again and then back down. He repeats the motion a few times.  
"That feels so good," he hisses into my ear, "Maybe you were right, muggle work has roughened your hands." He thrusts more firmly into my hand, before withdrawing. I blush.

"Now then, let me see what I may do for you." His fingers dip within my folds and I cannot help the moan pulled from my lips. He rubs along my wetness, becoming quicker and firmer. I give up. I groan and feel my body spiralling towards the culmination of desire; he presses his mouth against mine and kisses me. I am half aware of him positioning his body above mine and the tip of the penis pressing against my flesh. Then before I can reach the peak of my desire he pushes into me, the sharp sting forcing my eyes open and I let out a muffled cry as his hips slam into mine. I feel tears well up in the corners of my eyes. I wonder if this is right and whether I should have let this happen, he seems so intent on his own pleasure. I am a forgotten body beneath. But he looks up to me, his breathing heavy.

"Open your legs wider, it will hurt less." he says gruffly. I do so, still feeling plundered and vulnerable; he takes in my expression and then gently kisses me.  
"I know it hurts, but it will not do so for long. And when we next make love it will be infinitely more pleasurable than this time."  
I manage a chuckle, "Who says there will be a next time?"  
His smile returns and my heart sings with delight on seeing it, no bitterness or hatred or mockery, just a pure and simple smile.  
"You were too wanton this time, not to want another time." He lies closer to me and I wince at the slight pain from his deeper position. But he wraps his arms tightly around me and presses kisses on my cheeks and lips. He gives another thrust.  
"Next time I will bring you pleasure. You feel so good to me right now, so hot and tight and wet…how could I not return the favour?"  
He begins a steady rhythm and even now it begins to feel better. He urges me to raise my hips and he groans furiously into my hair, breathing in my scent.

* * *

"Oh forgive me, I cannot help this…" he cries out, and I wonder what he means, when he suddenly pushes furiously into me, the growing pleasure I felt now being mixed with pain. He thrusts several times more and then his body shudders as he releases inside me. He falls back to me, his face and body damp with sweat, his chest rising and falling, his eyes closed. I gently push back the dark hair clinging to his forehead and kiss his cheek. Salazar smiles contentedly and opens his eyes. He kisses me fully on the mouth.

"That was perfect. I had dreams of you for months on end and nothing could compare to this." Salazar lifts himself up and then fetches the basin of water. I am still surprised by his tenderness when he washes around my thighs and the delicate crotch.  
"Oh, blood…" It shocks me a little to see the dark red stains on the cloth.  
"Only a little, Helga, and you will not bleed again."  
He washes himself and then puts the bowl back. I feel a dull ache in my heart when he puts on his undershirt.  
"You are going?" I say, not hiding the look of disappointment on my face. He gives that teasing smile.  
"Nay, your room is still cold from the windows being open and though I am warm, I have no desire to catch a chill." Salazar pulls the cover away from the bed and climbs in; he wraps his arm around my waist, so I am cocooned in his warm embrace, his chest behind me. He pulls the cover up to my shoulder and softly kisses me. Although I gained little pleasure in the act, I feel strangely fulfilled and complete. I stroke his arm and Salazar kisses my forehead, I hear his sigh of contentment as he lies back on the pillows.

I do not fear him now, now he has revealed his true nature to me. I would not say I trust him entirely, but in truth I realise he masks his fears through his arrogance and I can learn to live with that. I am not as weak as some make out, his malicious teasing or quick remarks have never driven me to tears, but they do frustrate me at times. But I think I understand him a little better now. Not fully, but a little. He has shown me he can be kind, thoughtful, even loving. Yet I do not expect him to treat me any differently in the morn, but that does not matter. I fall asleep.

* * *

Thanks to those following/favouriting and reviewing :) Especially ZeesMuse and Ashaacorn


	6. Queen of the Forests

White Rose, Queen of the Forests

I woke alone, the other side of the bed lingering with his scent and a small indent in the pillow being the only clues left as to what we had done. I rolled to my side and inhaled deeply, caressing the warmth of the pillow. He had only left moments ago. Perhaps I was disappointed, but not surprised. I stretched and got up. When I pulled back the cover there were small marks of blood spotting the sheets, I felt strangely guilty when I muttered "Tergeo" and the traces of blood vanished. I pressed my palm to the now snow-white sheet. He would not want anyone to know, not even Wynny. I quickly got washed and dressed, then went down to the dining room.

Godric was the only one in there when I arrived.  
"Morning Helga." he beamed and poured me a cup of tea.  
"Morning Godric. Where are Rowena and Salazar?"  
"Could have asked you the same question yesterday…" he said.  
"I had things to attend to."  
Godric began to butter a roll and then pulled a pot of honey over, "As do they, both of them are busy in the library."  
"Already?" I asked.  
"Aye, Rowena had time for breakfast, though she wolfed it down. Salazar only stopped in here for tea, then went on his way."

I frowned at that, I forever had to remind Rowena to eat when she became too busy with her studies. It was a part of our childhood I had grown up with, Rowena's mother often charged me with the duties of fetching Rowena from whatever chair she had found, and pulling her away from the book she was engrossed with, to eat. Godric laughed on seeing my expression.  
"You can mother them in a moment, when you've eaten your own breakfast."  
I rolled my eyes and he passed me the basket of warm rolls. Godric did not speak for a few moments, while I busied myself in buttering the rolls on my plate. He took a sip of tea and then turned back to me, his expression worried.  
"What is it?" I asked.  
Godric pinched the bridge of his nose, "There's been another spate of burnings and some attacks from wizards on muggles in the South, I…I am intending to go there and try to help in some way."  
I put down my cup.  
"Godric…" I began reproachfully, for he knew well the dangers such an undertaking would bring and the worry for the rest of us.  
"I know what you will say, for Rowena has already said it: _What can I do, I am one man amongst many? I will probably cause further damage; I dumbly risk my own life…_etc, yet I cannot sit here and do nothing."

I bit my lip, of course we all wished to do something, but in the saving of one witch or wizard – even muggles mistaken for witches or wizards – often more were harmed or killed. Angry villagers would seek revenge on family, friends or neighbours. Vengeful witches and wizards made matters no better. I had been fortunate in finding the village of Caerleon, a rare place where muggles and wizards coexisted. There was occasional anger and frustration, particularly on our part if muggle-borns were forced from their homes. In the small school I had ran there were a few runaways and those who had been abandoned, but they tended to come from towns further away. There had never been a time of bloodshed. After all, the great wizard Merlin had hailed from there.

"Godric, you know it to be futile to rescue anyone from the stake or already held in gaol. It would further their wrath…"  
His brow furrowed and he glared at the table, I got up and gently squeezed his shoulder, "Just try to bring the others to a place of safety and keep yourself safe."  
He smiled at that and tenderly placed his hand on top of mine, "For your sake I will."  
"Hogwarts needs all of its four founders." I said and Godric finished the roll on his plate and got up.  
"When do you leave?" I asked.  
"As soon as I am packed and able to."  
I nodded, "If you need to use my house as a place of safety you can do so, but I shall send a note to Alys first and tell her what you intend."  
Godric's smile returned and he seized my hand in his, he pressed it to his lips, "You are a goodly woman to have amongst us. God knows we would continually fight and argue were you not here."  
I smiled, "Nay, Rowena would not accept fighting; it would distract her from her work."  
Godric laughed at my joke, "Well I hope I shall return to your beef stew and thickly crusted bread, it is a favourite of mine. I will bid you all goodbye when I am ready." And with that he marched from the room.

I grabbed a scrap of parchment and a quill, quickly scribbling a note to Alys informing her of making up beds for the children and preparing a good amount of food, I said I would send them more should they need it. I made my way to the owlery and attached the note to my barn owl, Pollux.  
"This needs to get to Alys, as quickly as you can. You know she likes being prepared." I gently stroked Pollux's feathers and he nibbled at my fingers affectionately before flying off through the window and up into the blue expanse of the sky. It was such a fair day it was hard to believe such hatred and anger had occurred. I sighed and turned to the door, Salazar stood there, he looked grim.  
"Godric told you then?"  
"Yes." I murmured, "I've sent a note to Alys telling her to prepare my house for an influx of guests." I smiled faintly at the weak jest. Salazar crossed the room and looked out of the window, his frown still etched on his face.

"My father will not have the scum in his house." he said so quietly I could have easily misheard his words. I decided I would not say anything; Salazar would already be in a foul mood in the death of good witches and wizards, yet he disliked being reminded many muggles would die beside our fellows. He turned round to look at me, I was still watching him.  
"You begrudge me the sentiment." he said and came towards me, a faint smile on his lips. I could feel my eyes drawn to his lips, he had quite a full mouth and I felt a dawning ache in wanting to kiss them. I shrugged.  
"You know I do, but we must agree to differ on this matter." I said.  
He chuckled coldly at that, "You would seek agreement when we have none."  
"Tis better that way or else we live in strife."  
"Aye and you look very beautiful this morning."

He pressed his mouth to mine and I sank easily into the bliss of his rare affection. His arm captured my waist again and he pushed me back into the doorway. He trailed his mouth over my lips and neck, inhaling against the curve of my neck.  
"You smell good. You smell of sex."  
I bit my lip as desire lit in my belly again. Salazar knew that, despite the soreness between my legs, if he asked I would let him have me. He brought his kiss back up to my mouth and then smiled at me.  
"But I am not as cruel as that. I will let you recover a little further." He rests his forehead against mine, "In this dark time you bring me some relief."  
"Do not be angered." I begged. Salazar grunted in reply.

"You have not told Godric or Rowena about this?" he says a moment later.  
"About what?"  
He scowls, "What happened last night."  
"No…Why, are you ashamed of it?" I felt a bubble of anger grow in my chest. He draws away from me and glares at me.  
"Well thank you for thinking so little of me! Nay, I am just not one for vainly strutting around like a peacock, proudly declaring my conquests." His lip curled into a sneer, but then his face softened a little and he gently touched my cheek, "Will you blame me so for desiring to keep this between us? I am not ashamed of you Helga; I would not sleep with you if that were the case."  
I rolled my eyes, "You are honest to a fault, when you decide to speak." I mutter, he smirked.  
"Yes, I've been told that is a virtue of mine as well as a flaw. Am I pardoned for my secrecy?"  
"Yes…I just wanted to be sure."  
"Of what?"  
"That I wasn't just some meaningless conquest."  
His proud little smile returned, "Oh my Helga, you could never be that."

I left him after that, making my way down the long staircases to the library. Rowena was already seated by a desk, the wooden surface covered in a multitude of scrolls, books and Rowena's own notes. Rowena's head was bent, her quill busy scrawling across a piece of parchment and now and then she would mutter softly to herself. When she heard my footsteps she looked up and smiled.  
"Good morning, Helga."  
"Godiden." I replied and she laughed at the expression. Rowena was fond of strange sayings and she found it very amusing when I spoke Welsh to her. Her smile faded a little and she gestured to the seat beside her.  
"Godric has gone to the South."  
I nod, "Yes, he told me this morning. Witch-burnings." I shivered, "I just sent an owl to Alys, so she can prepare some rooms and food for them."  
Rowena nodded, "Hogwarts will be used as well, would you be able to see to the Great Hall as a place for them to sleep?"  
"Of course."

Rowena put down her quill and stretched, then reclined back in her chair.  
"Salazar is in a foul mood, of course." she said. I nervously bit my lip and she gave a momentary puzzled frown, "Though less so than usual…I'd go so far to say he was practically mild mannered at breakfast, well at least until we heard the news from Gwaine."  
"Is Gwaine safe?" I asked, glad I could change the subject so easily onto Godric's brother.  
"Yes, the Gryffindors are rarely touched by these matters, though of course they're helping as many as they can."

We lapsed into silence; Rowena rolled her quill between her fingers. I smiled gently at her and was about to get up and pick up a book on Runes when she suddenly snapped her fingers and pointed at me.  
"You're different too."  
"Different?" I frowned, my hands smoothing down my dress.  
Rowena nodded slowly, "Yes. Different…I don't know what it is, but there is something changed about you."  
"What are you talking about?" I said, though regretted it slightly as it sounded defensive, "I'm not in any way changed."  
She shrugged, "I don't know, I can just tell. You're different."  
"Very well…"I muttered and picked up the small, leather bound book from the shelf. A rune intricately decorated the front cover and around the sides small runes were painted on in gold. I sat back down, though Rowena kept looking at me.  
"Rowena, that's very distracting." I said. She gave a sigh and turned back to her own work, though now and then I felt her gaze drift towards me.


	7. Thou Shalt Not Suffer a Witch to Live

Thou Shalt Not Suffer a Witch to Live

As the evening approached there was no time for reading or studying. Families of wizards and witches began arriving, having followed Godric up from the lower grounds towards the castle. Most bore expressions of worry and confusion, as if they were not sure how they had arrived in such a place. The house elves and myself were kept busy with the making of beds and handing out of hot food. We had decided to turn the Great Hall into something of an encampment; it would be easier for relatives to find one another were they all in the same place. Rowena came down and began compiling a list of everyone who had arrived that day, marking down the names of families and their original whereabouts.

Even those who had been accused of no crime were brought up to the Castle; friends and neighbours who bore no guilt other than to know the person who had been blamed. I was relieved when Godric told me he was taking muggles to his family's home and that of mine, he scowled but I said it was for the best and to bring them here would only incur Salazar's anger. Those who had arrived were quiet and subdued, but Salazar could stir things up and then there would be a spate of attacks from wizards on muggles, which would help no one in the end.

From passing around the huddled groups I learnt that several Priests and armed guards had been stirring up trouble, at first it seemed best to ignore it, but a sudden bate of hangings and strange murders meant the angry mutterings and hysterical rants of the Priests, were no longer easy to laugh off. It pained me to see the wizard and witches' quiet faces; even the children were pale and sat silently. Children should not be like that, I thought as I handed round blankets, they should be running all over the place, causing a mess, shouting and laughing. Not these little ghosts, sitting so quietly it was as though they were terrified to even breathe. Even though I disliked Salazar's viewpoint at times, I could understand his abhorrence of muggles.

At that moment Godric interrupted my thoughts by staggering into the hall, the weight of an injured man on his shoulders, the wizard's family rushing around him. I cleared a nearby bed and examined the man's wounds, gashes with a frightening amount of blood and some smaller cuts, but nothing that essence of dittany wouldn't cure. I called Rowena to my side and asked her to keep the family calm and to bathe the man's wounds, while I headed down the stairs to Salazar's office. I managed to catch up with Godric before he left; his eyes were dark with shadows beneath, shoulders hunched and he did not loosen his hand upon the sword at his belt.  
"Godric…"  
"There is no time, Helga. There are still more, my father and brother are still out there with our friends, trying to help many as they can…"  
"But it will serve you no purpose, if you or your family are injured." I said. He gave a low, deep sigh.  
"I cannot rest, not until this has been seen to."  
"Godric it will not end for another hundred years, if not more."  
"Then neither I, nor my family, will ever rest until both muggles and wizards can sleep peacefully in their beds."  
"Will you not at least take some respite or have something to eat?" I asked, he smiled gently and put his hand over mine, where it rested on his sleeve.  
"Not yet, when the worse is over, I swear to you I shall. Now, go to Salazar and fetch that potion, that man has suffered enough." With that he turned on heel and headed out into the darkness again.

I sighed, but there was nothing more I could do, I knew it was futile to argue with Godric. When he had a goal or task in mind there was very little that could sway him from that path and my pleas to get some food into him would not be one of those reasons. I continued my way down to the darkened rooms, going deeper into the castle. I found Salazar's office, the heavy oak door shut and only the faint scratching sounds of a pen from inside. I knocked, the pen fell silent and then I heard Salazar made his way to the door. He opened it, looking disgruntled and sour, but as soon as he saw me his expression relaxed a little and he pulled me into the room.

As usual he favoured his dark green drapes and heavy wooden furniture, the desk took up most of the room, and like Rowena's each book, pen and scrap of paper had its correct place, there was not a feather out of place on his quills and the books on the desk were in neat piles. Around the room were tall bookshelves, lined with leather bound books, some even in Latin, Greek and Hebrew. There was a small chest towards the end of the room, near the windows, where I presumed Salazar kept his potions. I had taken a few steps into the room and heard Salazar close the door, I turned to ask him for the dittany, but he grabbed my arm and forced me back against the door. I was about to exclaim the importance of my task, but he kissed me, not giving me barely a moment to gain breath. His mouth on mine felt so sweet and strong, his lips urging mine open and then that warm slip of tongue into my mouth; I resisted the urge to moan and pushed him back.  
"I need essence of dittany, a man is injured." I said panting, embarrassed it was so easy for him to take my breath.

He strode over to the chest and removed a small crystal bottle. Then turned to give it to me, but held it just out of reach.  
"You do understand, don't you?"  
"Salazar, I…"  
"Were I in that hall I would not prevent my anger, I do you more of a service by being here than fuming in there."  
I gently touched his cheek, "I know that and we have more than enough house elves to attend everyone, but I must see to this man's injuries."  
He nodded and put the potion in my open palm, "After you are done will you come to speak with me?" he said.  
"Perhaps, but there are many people I need to attend to, including Godric."  
"Well do not forget yourself, I can tell you are weary. But go, I will not keep you anymore."  
I reached up on tiptoes and kissed his cheek; he seemed to like it and smiled. I gave him an encouraging smile and then ran back up the stairs, the bottle clutched tightly in my hand. I felt his eyes upon me still as I mounted the stairs, but when I turned the corner and glanced back he had quietly closed the door.

I attended to the man, his wounds knitting together and healing before our eyes. Rowena and his wife had cleaned most of his blood away and I lent him one of Godric's shirts while his was cleaned. It was dawn before the last few refugees came and Godric returned for good, Rowena's face paled on seeing the lines of worry etched on his face, the tiredness deep within his eyes. He barely spoke a word, wolfed down a plate of stew, bread and ale, before falling asleep in his chair. Rowena had not the heart to wake him, nor to disturb him with a levitation charm, so we covered him with a thick blanket and left him there to rest. Rowena bid me goodnight after that, though by now the sun was creeping over the horizon, even the sun looked weak and weary climbing over the hills with no glorious signs of red or gold, though I remembered the old saying, 'Red sky at night, witches' delight. Red sky dawning, wizard's warning.' So perhaps it was just as well.

I was making my way along the main staircase, debating whether to visit Salazar or retire for a few moments when he appeared walking down from the second floor. 'Whether that man does practice occlumency or no, he certainly knows when to find me.' I thought. He came towards me and wrapped his arms around me, he looked strangely tender as he did so.  
"I thought you would be too weary for long conversation, so do you mind if I could join you in your bed?" he asked.  
"I am too weary for anything…physical." I blushed, he gave a small chuckle.  
"The thought did not even pass through my mind." Salazar's eyes gleamed.  
I huffed, "As if."  
He gave me a short kiss to my forehead, "I would not be such a beast as that to make demands on you, especially when you have worked ceaselessly. Come. Bed." And he guided me back down the staircase to my own room.

He took off his shirt when he lay in my bed this time and helped me unlace my dress, pulling it up over my head, his eyes raking over my body before I put on my night dress, but I did not want to tempt him. I was too tired even if he was gentle or slow, which I doubted he would be. He climbed into the bed and then pulled me down beside him, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and waist, the cover drawn over my shoulders. I closed my eyes, breathing in the warm scent of him, as he ran a hand through my hair, slowly rubbing my scalp. I fell asleep in minutes, but for the few moments I was awake I relished the comfort and security of him holding me tightly to him.

* * *

I woke as he shifted my body over to the other side of the bed and went to the window.  
"Where are you going?" I asked, he turned and came back to the bed and sweetly cupped my cheek.  
"I'm not going anywhere. But it sounds like you have an owl." He nodded to the window, where the bird began rapping against the pane with his beak. Salazar pulled open the curtain and then opened the window, where Alys' owl Castor instantly flew in and proffered his leg. I undid the string biding it and then he hopped to the end of the bed post, put his head under his wing and promptly fell asleep. Salazar closed the window again and shut the curtains; he climbed back into bed, while I opened the letter. I read it while he nuzzled up to my hip, kissing the soft fabric and making it very tricky to concentrate on Alys' words.

But the pain of last night and the storms of witchcraft accusations were not healed by simple kisses and it hurt to read her letter; Alys' had taken most of the muggles, as had Lord Gryffindor and there were around thirty altogether in both houses. There were a few witches and wizards, making fifteen there and forty here. But despite all our efforts there had been the cost of many innocents, killed when their families or friends had gone missing, without trial or a court. We had two new orphans at my house of Rhosyn melyn, a boy of seven and a girl of ten.

I sighed and scrunched the letter tightly up in my hand, there were times when my patience and even temper were tried and I could have easily hated muggles with as much vengeance as Salazar. But unlike he, Godric or Rowena I would still not do anything about it other than help the victims; despite all of Godric's claims, his pride and sense of justice would often make him angry with the muggles and I knew in many ways Rowena saw witches and wizards as better than muggles. But I could not do that, because every person deserves the chance to be good, for all the wrong they have done before. Even my own sense of pity and forgiveness frustrated me at times.

"You are troubled." Salazar murmured against my waist, I put the letter down and sank back into the bed.  
"Let's not talk of it today, it will only anger you and upset me." I said. He wriggled back up to the pillows and kissed my neck.  
"How many?" he said.  
"Salazar," I whined, not wishing to feel his anger, even if it was not directed at me.  
"How many?"  
I bit my lip, "Altogether, around seventy saved."  
His hand tightened on the bed cover and I soothingly stroked his shoulder. I saw his jaw clench and his eyes look away from my own.  
"You were right; you should not have told me." Salazar rolled onto his back and looked up to the bower, "Bastards. And even with those that were saved they cannot return to their villages or their homes, the mob would kill them on sight." He let out a growl and got up out of the bed, pacing the room back and forth in a fury. I heard him swear under his breath and mutter several things in Parseltongue. Finally he turned to me, anger etched on his face, his forehead drawn into a frown, his eyes burning.

"They never think, the bastards never think. How many lives they kill, how many lives they destroy. What does it matter to them if a child does not have their mother? If a husband does not have his wife, if a father does not have his children. Love thy neighbour? Hah, they are nothing but selfish bastards, caring only for themselves and their closest kin, waiting for the next one they can kill."  
I was still sitting up in the bed, the covers drawn between my hands and watching his mad pacing. I felt strangely calm, watching his swift movements and the turn of his heel. He was still muttering when I called to him.

"Salazar," he looked up, as though only noticing I was still there. "Come to bed."  
He frowned once more, then shook his head and climbed wearily back into the bed. I wrapped my arms about him and kissed the firm jaw, then his soft lips. I bit and kissed his mouth till he let out a groan and responded to my caresses. His hands gripped tightly to my arms and his desperate kisses became stronger, he kissed down my neck, along my chest, before lying his head down on my shoulder. I stroked through his hair, entwining my fingers around the black curls. He closed his eyes and made no sound, till after a while he glanced up at me and muttered something in parseltongue. The soft hiss made me shiver, but his eyes remained fixed on mine.  
"What does that mean?" I asked, but he shook his head and closed his eyes again. I resumed my ministrations and he soon fell asleep in my arms.

* * *

A/N: Oooh so what did Salazar say? I don't even know and I wrote it! It's very interesting writing Salazar with a more 3D characterisation, generally he's presented as pure evil and that's it. But then not much is really given as to what happened in the traditional founders story. One minute everyone is getting along, the next everyone's dying/fighting. I am deeply interested in the historical period anyway of the lost of Pagan religions and the introduction of Christianity, especially as witch hangings/burnings got considerably worse later.

ZeesMuse - Damn straight, he is! Especially when imagining Richard Armitage in that role, lol!  
Ashaacorn - Rowena doesn't know entirely, she's a clever woman so I think it would make sense for her to notice subtle changes in people's behaviour and manner, but she's only guessing really.

Thanks again for the reviews.


	8. Fair is Foul and Foul is Fair

Fair is Foul and Foul is Fair

As Godric and I had worked hardest yesterday it fell to Rowena and Salazar to suggest the refugees' plans as we all ate breakfast. Salazar was a good deal calmer today, but he made no attempt to hide his disgust and anger against the muggles. Rowena had already suggested the beginning of a wizarding village near the school, where wizards could live in peace and bring their businesses and families there. It was hard though, many wished to return to the homes and villages they had once loved, the friends and neighbours who had been kind to them, but such things were impossible. It was more than likely their old homes had been torched and if they did go back they would find no welcome there.

Godric had encouraged some to already think of moving into the lands surrounding the Gryffindor estate or Rowena's lands; I could make no such promise as I owned no land, apart from my garden, house and tavern. It was up to Salazar's father whether he accepted the families onto his land, and he was a difficult man to persuade. It was going to be a difficult week of moving wizarding families around the country and establishing them in strange places among people they did not know. I knew people would treat them kindly, with respect and pity, but it would not make life any easier for them. I looked forward to the day when we could open our doors to students, a haven for children, where learning magic was not something to fear or hide.

Godric, across the table from me, suddenly lowered his cup and put his head in his hands. I got up and went to his side.  
"Godric?" I gently clasped his shoulder.  
"You told me it would not end for hundreds of years, but I find myself hoping it would."  
I glanced away from his hunched shoulders and resigned look, I squeezed his arm comfortingly, "These things take time, they are not resolved overnight. Someday our people will go amongst muggles without fear of being attacked or hated. But for now, you and your family have done all that you could, and even if you see it as not enough, I do."  
He smiled and held my hand, "Brave deeds are nothing without steadfast loyalty."  
"Well then, you have plenty of that with Rowena, Salazar and I by your side."  
"I doubt it not, but I was speaking of you in particular. After all, you have said it will be a virtue of your House."  
"It will." I decided against mentioning the virtue of loyalty was only something I hoped would stem from my students being accepted no matter their faults or achievements and realising it was important in life to do the same to others. Forgiveness was necessary, no matter how bitter it first tasted, otherwise we'd be forever battling with the muggles.

"We have organised most into staying with friends or close kin…" Salazar walked into the room and I almost leapt up away from Godric, as though we had been doing something indecent, though I had only meant to comfort him. Salazar's dark eyes lingered on me for just a moment longer, his lip turning into a slight sneer and then looked back to Godric.  
"The others are going straight to the villages,"  
"Are any going to mine?" I asked.  
"Nay, but I know of one family going near it. Why?" Salazar almost glared at me.  
"I intend to return to my village, to see Alys and to check on our newest arrivals. Being orphaned is in no way easy, Salazar. I'll go with the family to their place and see them settled, then travel on to Caerleon."  
"How long for?" Godric asked.  
"I will only be a few days, perhaps a week at the very most."  
"A week?" his exclamation reminded me why the men in his family were compared to lions.  
"Depending on how long I need to make sure the family is comfortable and aiding the children in Rhosyn melyn. I know Alys is competent, but I wish to see to the children myself. Also, Godric if you hadn't wanted me to you would've sent them onto your house in the first place."  
He conceded to my point then, "Father is too busy with his travels and the care of his land to take care of children and Gwaine wouldn't know where to start, I knew you'd take better care of them."

I nodded primly and then made my way from the room, as soon as I heard footsteps following me I slowed my pace, I knew who it would be. What took me by surprise was Salazar pulling me into an alcove, hidden by a long tapestry, his hand tightly pinching my arm. Despite the gloom, his eyes bore into mine and I could see the angry shine glimmering in the darkness.  
"What were you doing with Godric?"  
"Eating breakfast." I replied dumbly.  
A soft growl escaped his lips and he shook me a little, "What were you doing?"  
"He was worried, hurt by all that had happened yesterday and tired of the on-going struggle. Do you not think I would offer him some sympathy?"

I saw Salazar's jaw clench and he managed to hiss, "He _likes_ you."  
I pulled away from Salazar's tight grip, though I did not escape from his grasp, "What? Don't be ridiculous."  
"I am not being ridiculous. At first I assumed it was just Godric being Godric, attracted to a woman he has yet to conquer, but I've seen the way he looks at you. It is not even simple lust; his father is urging him to find a wife…"  
I managed to pull my arm away from his unforgiving grip, "I do not desire Godric and even if you think so little of me as to sleep with one man and then another, you are mistaken. It seems ironic Godric and I would speak of loyalty then; and now you judge me too harshly to think I would have no morals and seek a man I had no desire for. The only affection I have for him is that of friendship."  
I pushed aside the tapestry and made my way to the staircase, "It is typical of you to not even care that I will leave in a few days' time, your only concern being how Godric looks at me, as though I could help that."  
I longed to linger, to see if he would admit to his jealousy and ask for my forgiveness or continue his annoyance, but I moved quickly down the stairs and did not wait for his response.

"Rowena, could you tell me the name of the family who are going to a village near Caerleon?" I called to my friend, she was still working in the Great Hall, receiving owls with the newest reports of witch hangings, homes and plots of land available in different towns and villages and personal letters from the families' kin and friends writing to see if they were alive and well. She looked up and smiled to me, bidding me sit beside her. She went through several pieces of parchment before finding the right one.  
"Ah yes, the Stump family." She pointed to a family of four, the father and two sons had dark hair, the mother was fair. I smiled when I saw them; they had been very gracious when receiving our help and the father more than willing to help when other families arrived. Though I had firmly told him he needed to rest eventually. The younger boy was engrossed in a book – Rowena had left a small pile on the end of a table – while the older talked with his parents. Rowena grinned at me.  
"I think I shall take the youngest, though we will have to see what you think of the oldest. I've only had time for small conversation."

I thanked her and made my way over to the Stump family, Mister Stump gave me a short bow and a smile when he saw me approach.  
"Lady Hufflepuff," he greeted me.  
"Please, I can make no claim to that title. So Mistress Helga will do."  
"Ah, very well. My name is Athurius Stump; this is my wife Nesta and my boys, Eadred and Osmund." The oldest boy, Eadred, gave me a small nod and Osmund looked up from his book.  
"I heard tell you were going to a village near my home of Caerleon?"  
"Aye, Mistress Helga. My father is yet living in Clogwynaur."  
"I have need to visit my house and ensure those there are well, could I accompany you?"  
Nesta smiled at me, "Of course, we'd be more than happy to have your help, if you do intend to travel that way."  
"We wouldn't want to push our luck, seeing as you've all been so kind to us all." Geoffrey said, his brow creasing a little.  
"In these times it is our duty to help our fellows." I replied. "When do you intend to leave?"  
"By tomorrow."  
"Well if you need any further help; please do not hesitate to ask me."

Most of the refugees kept themselves busy, desiring us to give them tasks to see to before heading off to their new found homes or family. Godric would take all those who would go to his father's land and Rowena a small amount to her's tomorrow. For Godric it was easier, he did not need to ask his father for permission. Rowena still had to seek her husband's view, though I knew she detested doing so and would have sooner owned the land with full rights. Only one family, the Rosiers were journeying to Serpen Slytherin's lands and they told us they needed no guide, for the Slytherins were well acquainted with the Rosiers. There were still tensions amongst those gathered and however much the Stump family smiled, they did not hide their sadness any better than those who showed it forthright. Their boys were certainly not going to pretend all was well. All the children remained quiet and solemn, they knew what was lost and it was not only their homes and old friends that had gone.

I spent most of that day helping Rowena develop a plan for a permanent dwelling place for witches and wizards outside the school, but near enough for visits to the market stalls. It could not be so large we decided, it needed to be a place where only a few families could settle, not all; otherwise we'd be overcrowded. Rowena was more practical in her schemes, while I was already imagining market stalls, an inn like the one I had at Caerleon…  
"Helga." Rowena said sharply.  
"Hmm?" I pulled myself out of day dreams.  
"Concentrate."  
"Sorry, Rowena. But it will be so wonderful, won't it?"  
She smiled at me, "Yes, I expect it will. But there is still so much to do at Hogwarts, let alone a little village on the outskirts."  
"We should think of a name." I said.  
She frowned in thought, "It ought to have something to do with the school, but I'm not sure yet. Come, let us pack up and go to supper. We have both spent long enough here, it was meant to be your day off and Salazar, of course, is nowhere in sight." She rolled her eyes and tutted, while I busied myself in organising papers. I saw Rowena wincing though, so I handed the papers over to her and let her organise them as she wished. I could never comprehend her ways of organising her papers. Was it categories and then alphabetical or alphabetical and then categories? I shrugged and flicked my wand at a pile of blankets, neatly folding them. Then I picked up Rowena's inkstand and her swan feather quill.

We were making our way up the main staircase when Rowena suddenly marched directly in front of me and gave me such a fierce look I nearly took a step back.  
"What is it?" she demanded.  
"What is what?" I asked, feeling slightly foolish for the stupid sounding question.  
"You're hiding something."  
"I'm not hiding anything." I said, attempting to side step her. She blocked my path again.  
"Helga, you're my greatest friend. I promise I won't tell anyone…"  
"I'm not hiding anything!" I snapped and walked up the stairs.  
I knew I shouldn't have, but it was really quite frustrating constantly having Rowena's suspicion and Salazar's desire for secrecy. Not to mention Godric's apparent desire for me.

I turned back to her, "I'm sorry Ro; I shouldn't have been so harsh. I am hiding something and I shouldn't keep it from you." I muttered, she came to my side.  
"I'm sorry too, I pester you too much. But I do it only because I care about you."  
"I know. It's just…Alys has plans for marriage, she only told me two days ago and I do not know how I will run my house without her." It was such a false lie I was surprise at my own conviction, but perhaps it had something to do with Salazar, he was a quick and believable liar.  
"Oh Helga, you should have said something. Alys is like a sister to you."  
"As are you, but I didn't want to concern anyone with such a petty issue."  
"It is not petty; sometimes we forget other matters are important in times of difficulties. You will miss her, but perhaps she can still run your house, especially if her husband is not wealthy."  
"Well there is only talk of a betrothal," I said quickly. I wasn't that good a liar, if Rowena ever visited my home, and then I had to explain why Alys was still unmarried and childless.  
"So there is plenty of time to make plans, and remember, lots of the children there will be staying here." she said brightly. I wondered if she really believed it, I had always been told I was an exceptionally poor liar.

"Late as usual." Salazar snickered when we entered the dining room.  
Rowena narrowed her eyes at him, "You do not have a leg to stand on, Salazar. Helga was not meant to be helping today and you stayed in the hall but five minutes. If we are late you only have yourself to blame."  
"Peace Rowena, I have had enough foul words, even if they are meant in jest." Godric said, pouring a stream of red wine into Rowena's glass. She sighed and lent back in her chair, giving him a kind smile. Godric looked a little more unperturbed now and he smiled back at her, but his shoulders were still tense and the crease in his forehead had yet to disappear. The easy attitude he had was taking a while to come back.

"Sit Helga." Salazar muttered, I felt myself blinking like an owl and hastily took my seat next to him.  
"Are you well, Helga?" Godric asked.  
"Yes, just tired, that's all."  
"She would not have been if a certain wizard had decided to help out in the Hall." Rowena said through clenched teeth, Godric lay a calming hand on hers and I saw Salazar's hand twitch almost instinctively to his wand.  
"Rowena, I am fine and I would have helped anyway." I said.  
There was silence around the table as I attempted to pacify the situation, Rowena began to noisily put food on her plate and pass around the dishes, Salazar drowned his wine and then pulled over the flagon to fill his cup. Godric glanced me and raised his eyebrows slightly. When Rowena practically threw a spoon back into a dish of carrots he grabbed her hand and forced her to look at him.  
"Rowena." he said sternly, "I will not have foul tempers and fights around this table, give me a moment of peace here, while the darkness is out there."

Rowena's mouth trembled and I noticed her hands were shaking in Godric's tight grasp. She remained dry eyed, but her look of fear and worry was unmistakable.  
"I've tried to fix this, but I do not know how." she said, Godric nodded patiently.  
"And now you have three friends who are willing to help you, let them and we can at least hope for some future time of peace."  
She swallowed and clasped her hands tightly in her lap, "When I have taken some of the witches and wizards to Ravenclaw lands, Maxence desires for me to stay a while, he believes I need to see Helena."  
Godric frowned on hearing Rowena's husband's name, but he smiled boldly at her.  
"Of course, it would do you good to see her and you must miss her while you are here."

Rowena did not look up, she began to eat her food, and seemingly ensuring every bite of food was to a correct standard and measurement. My heart ached for her. I knew, even better than Godric or Salazar, why Rowena would be frightened at such a thought; of leaving here and going to her home. Maxence was a good husband, father and lord, but I knew Rowena didn't love him. She once had been infatuated with the young Ravenclaw lord, forever talking about how clever he was and how charming he was; but in terms of cleverness she soon outdid him, which for most husbands is not an enjoyable sensation, and as for charm, all spells soon wear off. Charm is not enough for a marriage.

Godric was talking with Salazar; one of Salazar's old friends had begun discussions in Denmark for a possible Wizarding school there and had written to both Godric and Salazar for their suggestions. Rowena seemed a little peeved that she had not been asked, but I was not too insulted by it. There were still fools who believed wizards were better than witches, or at least more respected, but I thought that nonsense. I remained quiet and remembered how much Rowena had pinned her hopes on pregnancy, on the birth of her child just one year after her marriage. She had been married by fifteen, disillusioned by sixteen. Her dream of marriage was already crumbling by then and she hoped by having an heir for the Ravenclaw name would somehow repair what was broken; a unifying force between the two noble families of Scots and French blood.

* * *

Thank you ZeesMuse and Ashaacorn, yep it's deep stuff and it's going to get a whole load deeper. Lots of background info about characters. So thanks for reading! xx


	9. Yellow Ribbons

Yellow Ribbons

I remember I was called upon when she gave birth, little more than a girl myself, of only fourteen years; holding her hand while she cursed and struggled and sweated on the bed. The midwives calling encouragement and Rowena's tears leaking down her face. Then after what felt like a lifetime, though probably to Rowena eternity, Helena was born. Small and red and wailing, Rowena looked positively repulsed; but after we had washed her and the wet nurse had fed her, while the midwives cleared the bed sheets and brought Rowena a tea, Helena was a rather pretty baby. Although her face was still pink, she was healthy and strong with dark blue eyes and small, sweet nose, little brown curls already on her head. I had been given her and gently bounced her up and down in my arms, placing my finger into her palm and smiling when her hand clasp into a little fist. I brought her over to Rowena.

"Isn't she lovely, Rowena?"  
Rowena nodded, but she looked strangely dazed and when I handed her the baby Rowena made no attempt to cuddle her close or look into the little face. I gave Rowena a nudge.  
"Yes. Lovely." she said, as though quoting a passage from a book.  
"What will you call her?" I asked, Rowena shrugged.  
"It doesn't matter too much, it's a girl." she said.

I had thought better of arguing with Rowena so soon after birthing, I had dismissed her statement as a result of the long, tiring labour. So I gave her a kiss on her forehead and made my way to my room to sleep. I met Lord Maxence on the way.  
"I have heard it is a little girl." he smiled broadly, he was clearly unperturbed by the birth of a girl.  
"Yes, and she is most beautiful, my lord."  
"Good and is Rowena well?"  
I had thought about what she said, how uncaring and diminished she seemed, but I gave a broad smile that felt false on my lips, "She is. I am sure she is relieved to have a healthy child."  
"Well get some rest, Helga. God knows we all need it and thank you for attending to my wife."  
I gave him a curtsey and he continued up the stairs to Rowena's room, while I headed down the corridor to my own. I fell into my bed and thought no more about Rowena's look of disbelief.

I had tried not to think about it over the months and then after I left Rowena's home, the years that followed. I had been worried beforehand, every time Helena cried Rowena would nearly jolt out of her chair, her eyes wide with terror. So while the nanny and wet nurse comforted little Helena, I would comfort Rowena. At one point she turned to me, her face as white as a sheet and said,  
"I can't mother her. I can't, every time I pick her up she scrunches her face and makes those choking sounds."  
"It will come in time, lots of mothers feel overwhelmed and frightened by looking after something so small and precious. And you are young, Rowena, tis natural you are nervous." I soothed, but Rowena just shook her head and gripped her book fiercely when they brought Helena into the library.

I took Helena from them and ticked her tummy, kissing her round cheeks and talking nonsense; she kicked her feet and squealed with laughter. But when I made to put her in Rowena's lap, Rowena's arms remained stiffly by her sides, that look of terror etched on her face. I placed Helena on the rug and she sucked on her toes, while I went to Rowena and removed the book from her hands.  
"For now, just pretend you feel confident. No mother knows what she's doing for the first time; this is just learning Rowena, like learning a very difficult spell or potion. But if you fear how to do it, then you'll never be any good. The best thing is to try."  
I placed Helena in Rowena's arms and as I instructed she bounced her up and down, a little nervous smile coming to Rowena's lips. I hoped that would be the end of it.

* * *

"Mother doesn't like me."  
"What?" I said, tidying away the old charcoal used and pieces of paper with Helena's scribbles. I smiled on seeing one of the family crest, the Eagle looked rather bloated. The name at the top and the motto underneath were mere scrawls along the banner.  
"Mother does not like me. And I don't like her." Helena said again.  
"Of course your mama likes you, she loves you very much." I said, as the little girl, hair tied back in a smooth plait, wearing a light green dress, continued drawing. Helena gave an exaggerated sigh and shook her head.  
"No, she doesn't. Mama doesn't like me. Father likes me and you like me, but mama doesn't. And if I ever want to play or talk with her, she won't and she tells me to shush and go away. I am done, can I wash my hands?"

I frowned as Helena placed her dirty hand in mine and we made our way down to the kitchen. Once there I poured a bowl of water for her and fetched a bar of soap, she giggled and splashed the water. I had noticed, it was impossible not to, when Helena greeted her father or me she would coming running out of the house with a cry of 'Father!' or 'Mistress Helga!', give us a hug and a kiss and would tell us all she had been doing that day. With her mother, it was always a polite curtsey, down cast eyes and a whispered, 'Lady Mother'. Rowena would give Helena her blessing, pat her on the head and then make her way indoors, shedding her cloak.  
"You mustn't think your mother doesn't love you, she does, very much." I said to Helena, who gave another shrug as though it did not really matter one way or another.  
"May we go outside now?"  
"Yes, it's stopped raining." I said, "But put on your boots." I watched her scamper away, I felt so sad for Rowena, but then she did nothing to improve relations between herself and her daughter. As soon as she had arrived in the Ravenclaw Hall she had locked herself up in the library, as she did every time. It both angered and pained me, but Rowena would refuse to discuss it.

Her daughter would be seven now. Only three years and she would probably begin to show signs of her inheritance. That was the only thing Rowena asked about, whether her daughter had shown any signs; not her height or whether she ate well or had any accidents, had she performed magic yet? I told her she expected too much from a young child, but Rowena was always determined. She had drafted her daughter's entire education and were it not for Godric and me, I would fear she would plan Helena's entire life. It was fortunate that Helena was a clever child…

* * *

"Helga?"  
"Hmm?" I looked up, Godric grinned at me and Rowena rolled her eyes.  
"Honestly, you have been in a daze all day." Rowena said.  
"Sorry, I was preoccupied."  
Godric chuckled, "Salazar asked you a question."  
"Oh?" I turned to him, a little smirk at the corner of his lips. I cursed myself for looking at his mouth and pressed my lips together. His eyes gleamed with satisfaction and he deliberately rested his chin in his hand, bringing the knuckles close to his lips.  
"Sorry? I was miles away." I said.

"I asked if you could go to the markets, while at Caerleon, I know you to have some good wizarding stalls there? I have need for some Hellebore, powdered moonstone and Mallowsweet. I can repay you, of course."  
"Alys and I grow mallowsweet. She always keeps a preserve of the dried plant, will that do or I can pick you some fresh from our garden?"  
"Dried is fine."  
"And the rest I can get you from the market."  
"Thank you, Helga." he smirked and lifted his cup to his lips, to hide his delight in seeing me flustered. I scowled at my plate, till I felt one careful finger draw up my left leg and send shivers running through me. I looked over at him, but he continued talking with Rowena on the need of plants from the Forest. While we were gone he would take note of what we had in there and whether any of it could be used. I shifted my leg away, but he grasped my knee with his hand and pulled it back, the hand now trailing lazily on the inside of my thigh. I nervously bit my lip, while Godric and Rowena continued talking.

We decided we were not going to talk late into the evening, as we normally did. Godric said we all needed early starts and Salazar said while he did not, he would prefer to enter the Forest with the sun on his back.  
"Make sure you take something to eat." Rowena said, she had become a little mellower as the evening drew on and her stomach was full. Godric laughed.  
"You are starting to sound like Helga."  
I was unsure why, but the offhand comment somehow irritated me. An unreasonable sense of anger flooded through me, though I soon shook my head and reminded myself not to be so sensitive. It was a ridiculous reason to be angry.

"Well I shall bid you all goodnight." Salazar rose from his chair, clapped Godric on the shoulder and then pulled Rowena's hand to his lips. It was an innocent enough gesture, I knew that. But it was not going to stop that little flame of jealousy roaring up inside me. He smirked at me, then performed the same gesture to me, his eyes gazing up into mine, his breath whispering across my knuckles. After that he gave his well-practiced bow and then left the dining room. Godric stretched lazily in his chair, but Rowena's eyes were narrowed as she gazed in my direction, as though studying me. I knew she would question me if I lingered.

"Well I am to bed." Godric said, I practically leapt up from my seat.  
"Me too."  
He smiled affectionately at me, "Do you wish me to escort you?"  
"No, that's quite all right. You have been so busy; you must want to sleep badly." I was unsure whether Salazar would be in my chambers or not, but having to explain his being there to Godric would be beyond me. Godric rubbed the back of his neck.  
"Well I can walk someway with you. For all your kindness, I wished you two hadn't left me in my chair, my neck is killing me."  
Rowena swiftly moved upwards and stood behind him, her hand gently stroked Godric's neck, before digging her thumbs and making circles near the base of his scalp. He closed his eyes and let out an appreciative little grumble. I'd go so far to say he purred. In the closeness of the gesture I could feel my cheeks heat up, I felt strangely embarrassed, as though I had intruded on this moment.  
"You cats are all the same." Rowena chuckled. Godric peered out the corner of his eye.  
"Stroke us in the right way and we're bound to purr." he gave her a wink and Rowena let out a very small giggle.

"Well goodnight." I said, overly brightly. Both Godric and Rowena gave me disgruntled looks, but it was not as though this had been an excessively private moment between the two of them. I left the room quickly, but not before hearing Godric murmur something quietly to Rowena and her little approving sigh in response. Well at least that laid Salazar's doubts to rest, I thought. Whether Godric's father had plans for marriage or no, Godric was not too bothered either way. Though I had never thought he and Rowena would…No matter how unhappy Rowena was in her marriage, she sought out affection and accomplishment from matters that would not hurt her husband; books and learning were her chief joys and love affair. Rowena had always dismissed the desires of the flesh as foolish and ugly, but perhaps that was because she'd never had a clever and attentive lover.

I had been so deep in thought that I had barely noticed making my way down the stairs, now arriving at my room. I glanced back up the stairs, neither Godric nor Rowena were making their way down to go to their towers. Well it was not my concern if they did not; I was not exactly being truthful about my relationship with Salazar. I pulled my door open and walked across my study to my bedroom. The fire in my grate had not died, but flickered across the walls. Salazar gazed into the fire; he had drawn a seat up near the hearth. He did not look up at me when I entered the room, though I kept my eyes on him. I was no longer surprised by his sudden appearances. I picked up my brush on the small table I had for my combs, pins and the badger clasp Rowena had given me for my birthday. I pulled out the twining that held my plait and then unravelled my hair, before pulling the brush through it. I felt his burning gaze on my back, so turned to look at him. He remained watching me, making my movements with the brush feel clumsy and the heat on my cheeks returning once more.

"Godric and Rowena are…" I began, Salazar's lip curled and he turned back to the fire.  
"You do realise Rowena let him have his way with her a long time ago?"  
I bit my lip and looked down to my feet, only hearing the scrape of the chair as he stood up and the warmth of him drew near me. I felt foolish for not seeing the way Rowena looked at Godric as anything but the gaze of one friend on another.  
"God Helga…your innocence is delicious." Salazar murmured, his fingers toying with a strand of my hair, before reaching round the back of my neck and kissing me; his mouth demanding and hot on my own. His other hand reached up to my neck and held me tightly against him. I still felt that little buzz of irritation with what he had said, his accusations of disloyalty and seeking another man, but I found my arms weaving around his neck and shoulders, bringing him closer to me. He shoved me back against the bed, till the back of my knees hit the edge and it was easy for him to knock me off balance. The aching trembling had already begun in my legs and my belly. He roughly shoved my legs apart, bringing up my left to place lingering kisses along my ankle, my calf, up towards my thigh. Nipping along my skin; I was going to have some bruises there by tomorrow, I dreamily thought.

He knelt on the bed, pushing up my dress and then brining both my legs up in his hands.  
"Shouldn't I get undressed?" I muttered and I heard his soft chuckle in response. His mouth kissed my belly, gradually inching closer to my thighs and the junction between them. I knew his teasing had already made my flesh tingle, his closed kisses against my thighs made it worse. My breath becoming hot and panting between my lips. He placed his body next to mine, so his lips were near my ear.  
"You remember what I told you," he rubbed his groin against mine, "I want to hear you screaming."  
His words sent hot rivulets of desire running through me and I whimpered, he went back to my thighs.  
"More than that." he smirked and then opening the folds of flesh pressed his hot tongue against the sensitive bud. I nearly jolted up from the bed, but he pushed me flat against it and held me there, while my breaths became shorter and shorter and I wriggled away from his burning tongue. Sharp, almost painful pleasure bursting inside me. He grasped hold of my legs, stopping me from moving and sucked vehemently on the flesh, only releasing me when a cry was wrenched from my throat. He made a small satisfactory noise and came up to my side once more.

"I am going to make you weep for pleasure." he murmured along my ear, making me shiver from anticipation.  
"It will not hurt?" I whispered, my throat felt tighter and the words came out faintly.  
He began to kiss along my jaw, down my neck, his hands reaching under the over layer of my gown, discarding it onto the floor and pulling at the ties of my corset.  
"It may and may not; it depends on how much I want you. And right now, I find myself longing for you, aching to fuck you." His hands clasped my breasts, the fingers drawing over my nipples. I no longer cared; I arched my back into the caress and moaned wantonly. He dropped his head and seized my mouth in his, biting and sucking along my lower lip. Then he pushed me over so I was lying face down on the bed and ran a hand up my back. I felt the tip of his wand nudge the leather ties along my back.  
"Lacerandum." He murmured and I felt the sharp snaps of leather breaking. It sent a thrill of delight and fear through me, had he been less careful he could have easily ripped my skin. But his hands were steady, despite the heady smell of desire in the room.

I rolled back over, "You could have hurt me, that spell is dangerous." I said, he smiled boldly down at me.  
"But I didn't." he cast aside the wand and pulled down my corset, yanking off the soft shirt beneath, till my breasts spilt out over the top of the corset. He bit his lip and his eyes were now almost black. Salazar pulled me to him, so my breasts pressed against his chest and then lowered me to the bed, his mouth falling over my breast. My hands scrabbled with his tunic and he wrenched it off, then resumed his strong sucking. I knew I wanted him then, his body against mine, the powerful thrust of his hips.  
"Salazar please," I begged. He raised his head, that little smile playing on his lips.  
"What would you have me do?"  
I blinked my eyes open and blushed, his smiled widened and his hand traced a line down my chest towards my groin, were I instinctively bucked my hips up towards his hand. I watched him put two of his fingers inside his mouth and then placed them back between my folds, carefully finding the opening and then pushing inside it. I let out a gasp, then lay back on the bed, the feeling was too overwhelming and I could barely move against those little beckoning motions.

"Sit up." he commanded and I did, though it was still a little painful to do so.  
"Untie me." I reached out and undid the laces of his breeches, though as his fingers pushed back and forth inside me I could not help dropping my head back and moaning.  
"Come on, Helga. I'd know you'd prefer to have my cock inside you." I scrabbled with the tight bounding, till he pushed down the breeches of his own accord, then swung my legs open wider and instantly thrust inside me. He groaned deeply and pushed my legs wider, beginning to thrust into me.  
"Oh God…" I muttered and he gave another chuckle.  
"Does it feel good this time?"  
"Yes," I nearly screamed. He knew it did. I pulled him closer to me, his hips slamming into mine, his hands first rubbing my legs then grasping my breasts. His thrusting became more rhythmic and I knew this time would feel so good. I was already reaching the peak of my desires; it would not be long till I fell off the edge.

"Salazar…Salazar…" Each thrust I had his name on my lips and at one point my moans became so much he placed a hand over my mouth.  
"Shh." he whispered, "My little wanton witch."  
That was too much. I fell apart in his arms, panting and groaning into his mouth, the wet warmth pouring out between my legs and my body trembling, under his careful hands. He fell forward into me, his thighs still pushing into me, the sweat along his back slick under my hands and he let himself go with a deep growl.  
"Do you think Godric could make you come this way? Do you think he'd be any good?" he says into my neck.  
"No…no…" I gasp, not really caring what he said or how I responded. I keep my legs tight around his thighs, not letting him go, keeping him inside me. Salazar breathed heavily on my neck and then gave me a final kiss; he pulled my legs away and rolled over onto his back. I watched him close his eyes, his dark hair in such stark contrast to the white pillows.

I wriggled up to his side and placed my head on his chest, he cautiously opened one eye.  
"After all that and you're not even going to kiss me goodnight." I whispered. He grinned, but put his arms around my waist and held me tightly to him.  
"No, I'm not." he shut his eyes once more; I smiled and lowered my head to kiss him. He made no response at first, but as I drew a way a little he pulled me back towards him.  
"I need to get undressed." I said.  
"It's a little too late for that surely?" he smirked.  
"Well I cannot sleep like this." I got up and took off my corset, then the skirt underneath, folding them neatly over a chair. I examined the broken leather ties.

"These are ruined."  
"You only have yourself to blame for buying leather ones, I've no patience for leather string." He gave me an appreciative look when I pulled off my undershirt and climbed back into bed.  
"What will you have me buy then?" I asked, kissing over his chest. He pushed me back on the bed and began to kiss me.  
"Ribbons, silk or satin, if you can find them."  
"Silk and satin are expensive." I murmured.  
"I will pay for them."  
"I don't want you to pay for them."  
"I will pay for them." he growled, I was not meant to argue.  
"What colour?" I murmured, closing my eyes while he ran his mouth over the delicate skin of my inner elbow.  
"What do you think?" he leaned back smiling, and then continued the gentle kiss along my skin, "Yellow."

* * *

Hehe, Salazar muse got excited and demanded a sex scene! So I wrote one.


	10. Pray You Now, Forget and Forgive

Pray You Now, Forget and Forgive

The morning is the same as before, he does not kiss me awake and I know it is not out of tenderness that he leaves me asleep. When I turn over, blink my eyes open and see the other side of the bed is empty, I sigh and then run my hand through my hair. I get up, still feeling a little tender from last night. I get dressed and pull on my travel cloak, the head downstairs to the Great Hall to break my fast with the others and the families gathered. The tables are back to their original places, families gathered in huddles, some speaking with others. There are occasional cries of laughter and murmured talking, Master Stump is speaking rapidly with another wizard, but he raises his hand to me and smiles in greeting. I bid them all good morning, but say I will let them finish their breakfast before talking properly.

It is rare to sit at the Great Table, we saw no point in doing so, conversing with each other was difficult when found sitting next to one another, instead of opposite. The round table we used was considered more informal and friendly than the long, rectangular table stretching from one side of the Hall to the other. But we had come to realise, should we need more teachers, it would be beneficial to have it. As my table was between Ravenclaw and Slytherin, so I took my place between Rowena and Salazar at the table. Rowena smiled at me, Salazar remained fixated on a letter he was reading, I recognised the hand of his father.

"Where's Godric?" I asked.  
"He already ate and took some of the families who wished to go to his father's land by portkey." Rowena said, she poured me a cup of mint tea and then passed a basket of rolls to me.  
"He's coming back for the rest and Maxence is going to arrive shortly with his own portkey." she said. I nodded and took a sip of the sweet, warm liquid, the soft smell of mint making me sigh with pleasure.  
"How are you getting to Caerleon?" Salazar put down his letter and looked up at me.  
"Side-long apparition." I said, "There will only be five of us, it is easier that way."  
"There will be no trouble?" he asked.  
"Wales does not take such offense to witches and wizards, as England does."  
"Nor Scotland." smiled Rowena, Salazar snickered.  
"The Scots are practically bedding the French, and when it comes to witches the French are even keener on burning."  
Rowena glared at Salazar vehemently, he raised his hands and his smile grew wider, "You married the French scum!"  
I knew he had been teasing her, not meaning anything by it, but he had pushed his luck. Rowena slammed her knife down and marched from the table. Several people looked up nervously as she passed them; I swallowed my bread roll quickly and took off my napkin.

"Helga," he called to me, as I got up.  
"No, that was cruel. I'll not defend you on this account."  
He leaned back in his chair and watched me leave the hall, following Rowena. It took me but a little time, I first thought she would be in her study, but when I looked out of the window on my way up I spotted her in the grounds. I made my way back down again and went out through the entrance hall. She was sat on the hill side, sitting on a low lying rock, watching several ravens circling over the forest.  
"What do you think they have found?" she asked, hearing my footsteps. She turned to me, her cheeks dirtied with tears and I embraced her at once.  
"Tis best to ignore him, Salazar sometimes says foolish things without thinking." I soothed her. She put her arm in mine and we made our way down to the edge of the forest, along the path.  
"You are mistaken there, Helga. Salazar always thinks about what he says, he always thinks about what will cause more pain or benefit his rise. Sometimes I can't understand why Godric likes him."  
"Godric appreciates those who can voice their opinion, even if it's an unwelcome one."  
She scowled and pulled her hand away from mine, "I cannot believe you find it so easy to forgive Salazar."  
"I'm not forgiving him; I told him it was cruel…"  
"For Gods' sake, Helga!" I was surprised by her sudden turn on me and the anger in her eyes, "Why do you always forgive everyone? You always have something good to say about Salazar, the muggles who kill our fellows, even the Pope gets your blessing! Why?"  
I cautiously toyed with my sleeve again and bit my lip, Rowena gave a sigh of irritation but before she could speak again I looked up to her, "Because no matter what happens I have to believe there is some good in everyone, that there is a chance for the least likely to do good–"

"Then you are a fool." she snapped and continued walking down the path, towards the lake.  
"I'd rather be a fool, than live in hate." I said, but too quietly for Rowena to hear. "I will send Godric to you, when he gets back." I called to her, Rowena made no response. I was unsure whether to follow her or go back up to the Hall, I did not relish facing Rowena with her sharp comments and her still burning anger. I lifted my skirts and made my way back up to the castle, Salazar had resumed his post against the door, watching me as I climbed up the path.  
"That was unkind, Salazar." I said reproachfully. He gave a shrug, I expected nothing less.  
"Please go and apologise to her, I will not have strife in this household. Not when so many of our fellows die daily and we are safe here."

He sighed irritably and looked down to his boots, "I only meant it in jest."  
"Be that as it may, Rowena's relations with her husband are not as they once were. She does not find it easy to return to him and your _humour_ makes things no better."  
I attempted to pass him and go inside, but he grabbed hold of my elbow, "Helga," he began.  
"No, I will not speak another word to either of you, until you apologise."  
His cold eyes narrowed, "Did she insult you?"  
"It does not matter either way." I said, pulling my elbow free and continuing back into the Hall.

I was relieved when Godric returned; he seemed in higher spirits and greeted everyone cheerfully. All the children seemed very fond of him and it saddened me that I would have to break that jovial smile with news of a fight between Rowena and Salazar.  
"And here is the rose of the sun," he called out to me, "How are you Helga?"  
"Well enough, Godric. I am glad to see you looking so cheerful. But…" he came closer on seeing my worried expression, "Salazar and Rowena have argued this morning, it was a stupid comment Salazar made about the French, but Rowena is very cross."  
Godric frowned and then nodded, "I will speak to Rowena, little quarrels like this are foolish right now."

He grabbed an apple, then turned about and marched down the Great Hall. I saw Salazar appear in the doorway and Godric stopped to talk to him. Salazar scowled and after a few heated words at least looked a little shame faced. Once Godric was gone, Salazar nodded his head to me and beckoned. I got up from my seat and followed him as he left the Hall. Once we were in the Entrance Hall he took my hand without a word and I followed him down to the dungeons, where his study and room was. I expected us to go to his study, but we continued along to his bedroom and he guided me inside. Once the door was closed and bolted shut, he turned to me.  
"I have apologised to Rowena."  
"Good." I nodded, "What did she say?"  
"Nothing, she's sulking."  
I sighed; it was the best I could hope for when the two of them had argued.

"I did not wish to part on bad terms." Salazar muttered, his eyes shifting to look into mine, then away again.  
"I think Rowena is right." I said, Salazar raised one eyebrow, "I find forgiving you too easy."  
He smirked, "You find forgiving everyone too easy."  
I bit my lip and shuffled my feet, was that how everyone saw me, eager to please, unable to stand up for myself, in some ways foolish? A cool, long fingered hand cupped my chin and forced me to look up. My cheeks heated on seeing his look and the way his hand held me so firmly, yet gently. I wetted my lips and cleared my throat; Salazar gave another slow smile, then brought his head down and kissed me. I wrapped my arms tightly around his shoulders and he pushed me against the wall, cold stone making me gasp with surprise.

I saw his eyes flick towards the bed, I pulled my mouth away and he instantly began to kiss my neck. I dropped my head back, revelling in the sweet, sensitive skin and his burning mouth.  
"We can't…there's not enough time." I managed to gasp.  
He stopped his kissing, though I could not help a little mewl of disappointment and even then his hands traced over my waist, down my thighs and cupping my backside.  
"Then I will see you in a week's time." His hands returned to my face and he kissed me again, but he was far tenderer this time, his mouth barely touching mine before sinking a little deeper. He broke away, still inches from my face, his warm breath on my skin.  
"I will miss you." I said, and he raised my hand to his lips.  
"I look forward to your return." he dropped my hand and walked toward the window. I followed him, then reached up on my tiptoes again and kissed his cheek, though he made no response. I walked towards the door, lifted the bar, then stepped out into the cooler corridor and walked back to the Great Hall.

* * *

"Mistress Helga," Alys cried in greeting to me, though she came out of the garden at once and embraced me. "I'm so glad to see you."  
"As am I with you Alys."  
She smiled and laughed, "You are fortunate to be in time for dinner. Come, come inside. Let me take your satchel and cloak."  
The garden was blooming nicely, the sweet summer flowers and herbs were already filling the rich, warm earth; around the silver birch was a small carpet of daises, thick white petals knitted around the grass, the beds were filled with poppies and marigolds. The air smelled cool and fresh after my journey, and I never liked travelling by disapparating, though I was used to it. It was not warm or bright enough to eat in the garden, but the welcome sight of my cottage and garden cheered me immensely. As we passed into the house I brushed my fingers on the lavender bush, breathing in the calming scent. I smiled, feeling a little foolish, Godric, Rowena and Salazar could keep their grand estates and homes, this was my kingdom and castle.

"Mistress Helga!" three of the adopted children, Gwenith, Cerdic and Hector ran towards me and hugged me, then gave me little curtseys or bows; I surreptitiously smiled at Alys who grinned at their behaviour.  
"You have been gone for ages." Cerdic, the younger of the three, said to me, "Where have you been?"  
"At Hogwarts, fy annwyl. I'm sorry I cannot write more often, we're all very busy. But you'll all be able to go there soon and learn magic."  
Gwenith rested her head by my hip, "That'll be good, but Cerdic can't go there yet."  
"No he can't." I agreed and Cerdic looked so distraught I picked him up and gave him a cuddle, "But in three years' time you'll be able to go."  
"You promise?" he said.  
"I promise." I turned to Alys, "How are our new arrivals?"  
"They are well enough, as well as they can be. But let's have dinner first, you can judge them from a distance and then we'll talk once everyone's in bed. And no matter what they say about disapparating being easier than muggle means, it doesn't mean you're any less tired or hungry from the journey. Sit Helga and let me bring you some mead."

"Helga, Helga, look." Hector ran round the table and sat opposite me, while Alys brought me a cup of mead. "Alys has been teaching us and watch this."  
He drew out his wand and pointed it to a small book at the end of the table, "Wingardium Leviosa."  
The book wobbled into the air and then thumped back onto the table. I smiled proudly at Hector, but he was frowning.  
"It worked better earlier on, honest Helga, it did."  
"I believe you, it's probably just because you are excited or your concentration isn't so good as it was earlier, you're probably hungry."  
Hector scowled at the book and miserably slumped on the table, "I'll never be a good wizard."  
I hid my smile on hearing Hector's proclamation that he would never amount to anything, "Yes you will, it'll be better when you're at Hogwarts, there'll be lots of opportunity to learn new spells and lots of other children like yourself. Why not try the spell on something lighter for now?"  
Hector shook his head, "No, I lifted the book earlier on and I'll do it later too."  
"All right then." I smiled, thinking that perhaps Hector would end up in Ravenclaw house. Steely determination filling his eyes. Perhaps Slytherin, I smirked and hid my smile.

"We went to London too and I got my wand as well," Gwenith said, pulling out her wand. I carefully took the wand from her and examined it.  
"It's very nice, an Ollivander make?" I asked.  
"Yes," she grinned. "It's English Oak, Unicorn hair, eleven and three quarter inches, supple."  
"Mm a very nice wand indeed, we shall have to get Cerdic's soon."  
Alys then brought in some plates and cutlery, telling Gwenith to lay the table and for Hector to come with her to get a jug of small ale. Cerdic is sent upstairs to bring down the other two children. My mouth dries considerably and I swallow, the two newest additions to my brood, orphans. I begin to pour everyone a drink from the jug and then pick up the cup to sip at the sweet, malty liquid. Cerdic walks in and sits next to me, he is followed by a young boy and girl, the girl is taller with fair hair and brown eyes, the boy younger with black hair and brilliant green eyes.  
"This is Elric and Luisa. Elric and Luisa, this is Mistress Helga."  
Elric hung back a little at the door, Luisa gave a neat curtsey, but kept her eyes lowered and sat at the table. Elric followed her closely and sat at her side, he nervously glanced up at me. I gave them both small smiles, now was not the time to address their parents death, but I would do so later. They needed to know they could trust me and pushing them for answers would not be it.

"Good evening, this is my house and I own the tavern in the village. Alys is a friend of mine though and I hope she is caring for you well."  
They both silently nodded.  
"Mistress Helga teaches us magic and looks after us. Some of us will be going to Hogwarts later to learn with her and Masters Gryffindor and Slytherin and Madame Ravenclaw. They're all very famous witches and wizards." Cerdic said, he had always been a talkative boy.  
"We are hardly famous, Cerdic. Though I suppose Godric is…and Rowena…and Salazar."  
"And you!" Cerdic insisted, "You are Mistress Helga, all the village talks about you."  
I laughed at that, the village talking about someone hardly made the infamous, the village talked about anyone and everyone if they could.  
"Cerdic, I don't think that makes me famous…"  
"It does. Bronwyn said her mother was saying how good you were at magic, one of the best in the whole of Wales!"  
"Well that's very kind of her mother, but I don't think that quite covers it."

Alys walked in with a roast chicken, followed by Hector and Gwenith with bowls of carrots and cabbage with leeks. Gwenith ran round the table to sit by me.  
"Gwen, I wanted to sit there." Hector glowered at her.  
"Hector you can sit by me tomorrow, but why don't you sit opposite me next to Elric." Hector grudgingly agreed and Alys shot me a smile, relieved the situation had been defused before becoming a full out argument.  
"This looks very good Alys." I said.  
"Not as good as yours." She grinned, I rolled my eyes.  
"Nonsense."  
"Cerdic is right though." she said as she dished out the vegetables onto people's plates and I put chicken on them.  
"Right about what?"  
"Well you're well known all over the place, I've heard strangers at the market place asking for you and they've come from all over."

I busied myself by pouring gravy onto the children's plates, "Strangers?"  
"Aye, from England and further afield. France and Italy."  
"People have heard of me in France and Italy?" I exclaimed.  
"See I told you so." Cerdic said, spearing a carrot and biting into it.  
"I suppose it's because they've heard of Rowena and Salazar and…"  
"No, they ask especially for you, they don't mention the others. Well apart from you working with them, but they're not here because you know Rowena, Godric or Salazar."  
"Oh…" I managed to say and Gwenith nodded excitedly.  
"Yes and some of them are Lords and Knights and advisors to kings and all sorts."  
"And some of them are very handsome." Alys chuckled and Gwenith gave a giggle. Hector didn't say anything though and Cerdic looked very cross. He lifted his knife and pointed it at me.

"Cerdic don't do that, it's rude." Alys said, Cerdic lowered his knife and instead pointed his finger. His little angry expression was so serious on such a young face that I had to bite back my laughter.  
"Don't get married to any of them, Mistress Helga. Swear that you won't."  
I laughed at that then, "Why am I not allowed to marry any of them?"  
"Because they'll take you away from here and we won't get to see you ever again." he wailed forlornly. I gave him a kiss on his sandy brown head.  
"Now I'm sure if I get married to a nice man he'll let me come and visit you, whenever I wish."  
Cerdic seemed a little relieved, but he still muttered into his plate that if I never married we wouldn't have to worry about such things.

Alys smiled at him, "Mistress Helga will probably want to marry at some point, Cerdic."  
"But why?" he said.  
"Because she'll want children of her own and a husband of her own."  
"Are we not good enough?" Cerdic said and I couldn't help my giggle then, he looked dolefully at me. I gave him a quick cuddle.  
"Of course you are, fy hwyaden fach. Any children here will be under my protection and I will give you as much love as I can, but I hope to marry someday, Cerdic. But not just yet."  
"Good." he muttered.  
"Stop being such a baby, Cerdic." Hector said.  
"It's fine Hector, there's no need for that and when I do get married I hope all of you can come to my wedding." I said.  
Gwenith looked excited then, "Can I be a flower girl?"  
I smiled, "Yes, of course. Perhaps Luisa would like too as well?"  
Luisa continued eating for a while, then glanced up and quickly nodded, a fleeting smile on her lips.

* * *

fy annwyl - my dear

fy hwyaden fach - my duckling (apologies if I got the grammar or word phrasing wrong, I just wanted Helga to speak Welsh).


	11. Bitter Herbs

Bitter Herbs

"Who is he?" Alys' voice made me jump and I dropped the basket at my hip. She walked over and helped me pick it up, but by the look in her eyes and the way her hand lingered over the rue and pennyroyal I knew she had guessed.  
"Alys, I…"  
"So you've let him…?" her voice trailed off, only hinting at her suggestion. I was half tempted to deny it, but her eyes gazed into mine, daring me to try such a thing, for she would know otherwise. I sighed, "I wanted it to happen, Alys. I wanted him." I blushed and looked down at my feet. She clasped my shoulder.  
"I shan't judge you for it, Helga. Some here have chosen the Christian faith, the Viking or the old Roman one, but I'll follow my mother's quite happily."  
"You could be killed for that." I said, a wry smile on my lips, she gave a shrug.  
"I keep a rosary at my side, but I shan't be made to follow a belief I don't believe in. Call me a hypocrite or what you like; I much prefer living to dying and so does everyone else, whether they follow the ése or the Christian faith. Anyway, enough of religion, who is he?"

I put the basket down on a wooden table and examined the climbing roses I had planted, they were doing well, soft yellows, cream and white roses making their way up the side of the grey stone walls, their green leaves and stems snaking over the cold stone.  
"Helga?" Alys said warningly, her hands on her hips.  
"I don't want to say anything yet, Alys. I know he doesn't love me…"  
"You've given yourself to a man who doesn't care for you?" she exclaimed, her blue eyes filling with worry.  
"No, I didn't say that. If he knew I was in danger, he would protect me."  
"Then how can he not love you?"  
"It is complicated."  
She let out a frustrated groan, "Helga, this is not the sort of relationship you want to be in."  
"But it is."  
"Do you love him then?"

I stopped, I did not know what I felt for Salazar, there were times when I hated him and times when I felt so close to him that I never doubted that it was love. I revelled in his companionship, disliked him dogging my steps, loathed his teasing, loved biting him back and surprising him. I needed his arms around me, that strength and passion, intoxicating and delicious for my senses. His scent and the tracing of his tongue on my skin. I felt my cheeks reddening.  
"So it's not love, it's lust." she said.  
I bit my lip and looked away from her, "I don't know what it is." and that was the truth, I didn't. I didn't know what I felt for Salazar.  
"Just make sure you make the right decision and you're not giving your affection to someone who doesn't deserve it." she handed the basket back to me, "You should speak to Elric and Luisa."

I followed her inside and after putting down my basket, went upstairs to Luisa's room, Elric seemed attached to her and I hoped to find them both in her room. I knocked at the door and entered even though there was no reply. Luisa was sitting on her bed, Elric at her feet. His eyes were sore and he wiped his nose on his sleeve. I pulled out a handkerchief from my pocket and gave it to him, sitting next to Luisa on the bed. It was never easy comforting orphans, Luisa had proved herself distrusting of all our efforts, even those of Gwenith and Alys'. Elric did what Luisa did, but he did not really speak, rather than copy Luisa's aggression towards us. Experience told me it was often best to be honest and open, to acknowledge how they felt, instead of pretending everything was well.

"I know this is a sad time for you both, but what your parents would have wanted is your safety and wellbeing. You are safe here, I promise that." I began a little nervously.  
Luisa didn't say anything, just folded her hands in her lap and kicked her legs back and forth. Elric sniffed again.  
"No one blames you…" I continued, but Luisa interrupted.  
"Was it our fault then?" Luisa whispered, almost so quietly I barely heard her.  
"No, of course it wasn't." I said, instantly cuddling her. She shifted away from my embrace.  
"I don't want a hug." she glared at her feet.  
After a long silence, Elric suddenly looked up and cried, "I want my mother." tears running down his cheeks. I put my hand out to him, but he scrambled away from the gesture and went closer to Luisa.  
"I'm sorry, Elric, there's nothing we can do about that. This is difficult, I know you miss them…"  
"You don't know anything." Luisa glared at me and got up.  
"Luisa, sit down please." I said, though she looked temptingly at the door, she eventually sat down at the end of the bed and when she was settled, I continued, "I do know a little of what this is like. When I was five my father was killed too, that's how I grew to know the Lady Rowena; her mother took me in when I was a child. She was good friends with my mother, even though they were of different statuses."

Luisa looked distinctly embarrassed, "I'm sorry, Mistress Helga."  
I gently touched her shoulder and she did not move away from my hand.  
"It's fine to be angry, in the same way it is to cry or not want to talk to anyone. It's very hard and the sadness never truly goes."  
"Hasn't it gone for you?" Elric asked.  
"Not really, even though he died when I was very young and I can't really remember him. But I know he loved me and that's what mattered."  
"What happened to your mother?" Luisa asked.  
"She died when I was a baby."  
Luisa shifted a little closer to me, "I don't know what to do, what should I do?"  
"You don't have to do anything, you are safe here and we will do everything to protect you and to look after you."  
"But what about mother and father?" her lip wobbles, "I should bury them."

I do not mention her mother and father may not even have bodies to bury or that they could already be buried, but outside the church. Unless she was with us, we might not even recognise the bodies, depending on how many had been killed.  
"It is too dangerous to go back to your villages."  
"Then why don't you go?" Luisa asks.  
"Because I don't know what your parents looked like and it is too dangerous a journey to go back there with you at my side. Your parents would not thank me if anything were to happen to you two."  
"But it is meant to be our duty. It is." Luisa's insistence makes her loss seem more tragic and her girlhood more notable. She is too innocent.  
"Your duty to your parents is to love them and keep their memory within your hearts. That's all they would want, they would not want you to be sad for very long, they would not want you to not eat your dinner and sicken. They know it will take a long time and it will be hard, but someday you'll laugh and smile again, they would understand your wish to see them properly buried, but the difficulty in doing so."

Elric climbed up onto the bed and sat beside me, I gently put my arm around his small shoulders and he rested his head against my side.  
"I want to go home." he said.  
I never knew what to say to that, it was difficult enough for children to come to term with losing one parent or both, even worse that everything they had once knew and loved no longer existed. Their friends were their enemies, their neighbours no longer welcoming, their home burnt to the ground and the village they had once grown up in a place of suspicion and peril. If I sent them back, it would be sending them to their deaths.  
"This won't feel like home for some time, but it can be if you let it. Everyone here will love and protect you; the village here does not mind those with magic, so you are quite secure here. Now, you may not want to talk to Alys and I, and that is fine, but sometimes it's better if you do. Hiding things won't help us understand if there's a problem of some sort. You understand?"  
Elric nodded and Luisa said, "Yes, Mistress Helga."

I gave them both small cuddles and then got up from the bed, "Dinner will be ready soon and we must talk about your education, but that can wait."  
I smiled comfortingly at the two, "My bedroom is just down the corridor, next to Hector's and Cerdic's, you can talk to me whenever you wish, night or day."  
They both nodded again and as I turned to leave I heard Luisa say, "Thank you, Mistress Helga." I turned back to her and clasped her shoulder.  
"You are not alone here; we will all do the best we can."  
It is the first conversation we will have, not everything needs to be resolved within it.

* * *

It still took some time for them to trust me, but I was not offended when they asked Gwenith and Hector about their experiences and sought Alys out for comfort, they had known her longer. But in tending to my garden or visiting the market, Luisa would often ask if she could join me and I felt it gave her a purpose as she dug her hands into the rich earth. There were times when the market holders would ask Luisa questions or try to talk to her, but she would lower her head and not speak a word. I did not push her to talk; she would in her own time.

Elric did not seem so troubled; he went to the school and enjoyed the lessons he had with Alys and I. He played with the other village children, Luisa staying nearby as though on guard duty. But Elric would gradually grow quieter as the day went on. He feared the nightmares he had at night and it was during my second week there, that Luisa woke me, telling me Elric was crying and screaming for his mother and she could not comfort him. I hastily pulled on a cloak over my nightgown and followed Luisa's candle to their shared room.

Elric lay sobbing on the bed, his dark curls sweaty and the sheets in disarray. I pulled him out from the messed bed and brought a chair over, sitting him on my lap and wiping away the sweat from his forehead, his little fists holding tightly onto my nightdress. He whimpered and kept saying how he wanted to go home, how he wanted his mama. I could do nothing but soothe him, rocking him back and forth in my arms and telling him he was safe, that the nightmare was over. Even though I knew the nightmare would not be over for him for many years. Eventually after Luisa brought him a drink of milk and he cuddled closer to me, he finally fell asleep. Luisa fetched Alys and they both remade the bed, so I could put Elric back in his crib and watch his chest slowly rise and fall, his thumb securely in his mouth. I wanted to cry then, but I waited till I was back in my bed to weep. I may not be a mother, but I could feel something similar to a mother's pain and her desire never to see her children in distress.

I was meant to only stay there for a week, but it soon turned into a month. I sent a letter to Hogwarts, explaining my absence; in truth I journeyed less often than Rowena and Godric, who both delighted in new adventures and new lands. Rowena would bring back strange books in different languages and spend hours translating them. Godric would regale us with exciting stories of fights with both man and beast. Salazar would sometimes travel too, but it was mostly to meet with other wizards and witches, and he did not speak of the conversations that took place between them.

I considered sending a letter to Salazar, I even brought out a fresh piece of parchment, my ink stand and quill pen. I spent hours staring at, _'Dear Salazar,' _written in my hand on the page. It got to the point where I began thinking Salazar did not really fit the title of _'Dear' _and I could not help giggling at the thought of writing,_ 'My dear, darling Salazar,' _it sounded too ridiculous. So I took to sketching the symbol of the Slytherin house, a snake on a shield. Even with my steady hand and the fine lines of the lead pencil I had somehow managed to make the snake look submissive, as though it were a hot summer day and he was too lazy to move his head. There was a knock on my door and I quickly hid the rough sketch under some other papers.  
"Come in." I called.  
Cerdic opened the door and bounded to my side, "Mistress Helga, Alys says she needs some help in the kitchen."  
"Oh of course." I got up and almost instantly forgot about my attempted letter. I left it under my books and paper and followed Cerdic down the stairs, into the kitchen.

* * *

I'll confess, still not wildly happy with Helga's conversation with Elric and Luisa, but what the hell do you say to children who's parents have been convicted of witchcraft and hanged? Feel free to give me some crit or suggestions with that, it's really bugging me and I've redrafted it about ten times. I tried to convey it was a conversation Helga had experience with, but she still finds it a difficult one to breach with young children. I don't know, maybe I'm just creating problems for myself! :)


	12. Singing Beneath the Shadow

Singing Beneath the Shadow

I was regretting eating Aly's delicious gingerbread, the children had been gleeful when we had it for breakfast, but the thick cream, rich gingerbread and strawberries were not a good idea for my stomach. I hated disapparating as it was, but disapparating on a full stomach was an idea I'd probably regret for at least a few hours. I breathed in the cool air and made my way up the path towards the Castle. There was something nice seeing it after so long and despite the nausea I found myself smiling as I walked up the gravel pathway, through the forest. The leaves were green and the sun was golden and warm, I ended up pulling my cloak off and carrying it in the basket at my side. It had been hard bidding the children goodbye, especially when Luisa began to cry, but I had promised them to return soon and Alys would take good care of them in the meantime. Alys was still fond in her farewell, but she gave me a warning look when I left. 'Don't give yourself away unnecessarily.'

"You, were only supposed to be gone a week." I was glad I did not drop the basket at my feet and could turn to Salazar a little more coolly than usual.  
"And how long have you been skulking in the trees, Salazar?"  
He frowned as he made his way towards me, "I assure you, Madame Peasant, I was not skulking."  
"Makes a change." I shot back, I was feeling rather pleased with my self-assuredness and I saw Salazar's lip quirk into something of a smile. He fell in step beside me and we walked for some way in silence again, I tried to stop myself, but could feel my body becoming aware of the closeness of his, my need for his hands holding tightly onto my waist. I remembered what Alys had said, was this just simple lust? But even as I thought it, my mind disagreed. This was not just lust, it was more complicated than that.  
"So did you remember the Mallowsweet?" he asked, pulling me away from my thoughts.  
"Yes." I took my cloak off the basket, slung it over my arm and brought out the mallowsweet in a small jar, the hellebore and powdered moonstone.  
"Excellent, I thank you." He studied each one in turn, nodding his head and then took my cloak off my arm, before laying it upon a shady spot underneath several pine trees.

"Salazar, what are you…?"  
"Godric and Rowena did not know when you would be back, we have enough time to…" his voice trailed off suggestively. I felt strangely disappointed, I wanted him to seize me into his arms, lovingly kiss me, tell me he was never letting me go. Perhaps I was hoping too much for that. I dithered on the pathway, Salazar's cold eyes watching me. He gave a frustrated sigh.  
"What Helga? What is it? Half the time you can barely keep your voice quiet, you cannot claim modesty in this private spot."  
I blushed then; he made me sound like a whore, as though I was nothing better than a willing peasant girl who lifted her skirts up for any farmer's lad. I did not make any move, neither towards him or the castle. I looked down to my feet. I hated him and wanted him and loved him and didn't want him. Was love meant to be like this? A confusion of wanting and disfavour. I heard the soft whisper of his footfall and then his hand cup under my chin, drawing my eyes level with his. I was surprised by his expression, not one of anger or frustration, but sweetness.

"I seem to spend half my time upsetting people." he smiled wistfully. "And normally I don't particularly care when I do, it is none of my concern if they find themselves snivelling over my words. But you," he took a deep breath, "I can't do that to you. And when I do hurt you, I feel like a bastard."  
I didn't want to say anything, couldn't. I knew if I did I would start crying like a baby. His thumb gently stroked my cheek and he lent down to kiss my other.  
"Come. Sit with me?" it was a true request, not a command. After I did not reply, he put his arm around my shoulder and walked me towards my cloak, then sat me down next to him. He put his hand on my waist and brought me down so I was lying against his side. His hand lingered over my cheek and my lips, the same tingles rushing over my skin. I closed my eyes, his long fingers brush aside my hair and drifted over my forehead and jaw. He kissed my forehead, going down my cheeks, till stopping at the corner of my mouth.  
"This is why we need you here. Rowena has scarce seen the sun; she is so busy with her books. Godric has been risking his own hide, taking little heed in warnings, and I…well I have turned into an old, sour bastard. We are…I am glad you are back."

I opened my eyes; it would probably be the closest he would get to saying that he loved me. His expression softened when I looked up at him and Salazar tenderly cupped my face once more, his thumb stroking over my cheek.  
"I suppose I've always been something of a bastard." he murmured.  
"You are not." I cry and reach for the back of his head, my hand gripping onto his dark hair. He instinctively lowers his head and kisses me, his burning mouth on mine making everything else meaningless. His hand holds tightly onto my waist, my fingers curl around his. Salazar's kiss sends fire coursing through me and makes my toes curl; I draw my legs up, while he places his hand just under the swell of my breast. I pull him closer to me, wanting him to be part of me. I feel his hips gyrate into mine. I pull away from the kiss and look at him balefully.  
"Salazar, don't."  
"Sorry…" he props his chin on his hand and looks down at me, "You look like a deer when you do that."  
I fold my arms across my chest and pout my lips, Salazar smirks and gently nibbles on my lips, till I let out a little whimper and kiss him properly.

We spend a little more time kissing and I delight in how Salazar just holds me in his arms, his dark eyes looking deeply into mine and that pure smile alighting on his lips whenever I try and fail to hide my own.  
"I've enjoyed this, surprisingly. But we need to get back now, it's getting a little late."  
"Very well." I get up and pull my cloak around me, Salazar smirks and brushes the leaves and bits of dirt caught on the material. Once done he holds me in his arms and I rest my head against his shoulder, breathing in the warm scent of his tunic.  
"Please don't treat me like a whore." I murmured and he gently kissed my forehead.  
"Forget I treated you like that, we will not speak of it again." he says a little gruffly, but holding me tight against him.

We make our way up to the castle, the evening air growing chilled and the sun sinking behind the clouds.  
"Why were you away for so long?" Salazar asks.  
"There was much to be done and seen to, the newest arrivals were…they were deeply upset by the loss of their parents and I didn't just want to breeze in there and then leave two weeks later. Children need stability."  
Salazar nodded and gazed up at the castle, his eyes seemed far away, distracted by memories he kept so closely guarded. I carefully put my hand in his, felt his fingers tighten on my own hand. His eyes came back to mine and he gave me a quick smile, pulling the hand to his lips.  
"Better not do this too near the castle." he said and dropped my hand by my side. I hid my disappointment, but Salazar walked closer to my side, our hands and arms now and then brushing against one another.  
"I also got Rue and Pennyroyal." I murmured.  
"A sensible idea." Salazar said. I felt strangely like I wanted him to tell me he wanted to have children with me, but such a notion was ridiculous and I shook my head to distract myself from such a thought. Salazar caught my eye and his eyebrow quirked.

"You want children someday though, don't you?" It was a less of a question, more Salazar determining I would.  
"Yes, someday." I murmured, before glancing up at him, "And you? To carry on your bloodline?"  
Salazar smirked, "Yes, I suppose it will have to come to that, though I confess I am not particularly fatherly."  
I smiled, laughter threatening to burst out from my lips, a bit my lower lip and Salazar let out a laugh when he saw me thus.  
"Is it so ridiculous to see me as a father?" Salazar grinned.  
"Yes." I giggled.  
"I suppose I lack certain qualities…"

I laughed at that and it gave my heart joy to see Salazar's face break into an easy smile. He came closer to my side.  
"Were we not so close to the castle, I fear I would kiss you, you look very beautiful when you smile and laugh…even if it's at my expense." I blushed at his praise and saw Salazar's eyes darken with longing. He was practically whispering in my ear, "I would pull you among the trees if I could and kiss you senseless."  
"Salazar, hush, no one must see us behaving like this."  
He chuckled and then moved a little way from me, but the distance between us crackled with some unknown magic only similar to the magic one feels when holding one's own wand. A bond so tightly won between the wizard and wand, that it will only severe if the wand is broken. I longed to clasp his hand again, but I kept a tight hold on my basket and cloak.

"Helga!" Rowena practically ran down the stairs and grabbed me into a tight hug. I could barely believe she would still look graceful and elegant while she did so, but her excitement made her look pretty and girlish, her enthusiasm was nothing but affectionate and sisterly. I was happy to see her and hugged her back. I smiled thinking if I had tried such a feat I would have probably tripped on my skirt and fallen down the stairs, before getting up and practically falling into the guest's arms.  
"Easy Rowena, Helga has travelled some way and…" Salazar was cut off, by a great roar from Godric who bounded down the steps and swept me up, spinning me across the hall. I let out a scream before laughing and Godric began some strange jig with me.  
"Godric let poor Helga down." Rowena smiled.  
"Never. Dear God, Helga we have all missed you here."  
I grinned down at him, "I am glad to hear that, Salazar tells me you have all been arguing."  
Godric turned to Salazar, still holding me up by my waist, "You tell-tale, Salazar." Salazar shrugged and smiled at us both, but I saw a little gleam of jealousy light up in his eyes.

"Godric let me down." I said and Godric grudgingly placed me back on the floor.  
"Good." I straightened my dress, "Now then, we can have dinner, you may tell me everything and I will then play judge, jury and executioner in hearing your complaints."  
Godric arched his eyebrows at Rowena, "Ooh you heard her ladyship, ready the cooks and her axe."  
I elbowed him in the ribs, "Shut it Godric."  
He laughed once more and placed his arm around my shoulders, "See that's an interesting story, many have tried to make me do just that, but none of them have ever succeeded."  
"Except when I make you my lemon cake, you seem very quiet then." I said smiling and Godric rolled his eyes.  
"Alas, that is very true, but then I'm certain all your cooking could have that effect on me." He smiled and gave me another hug, "Welcome home Helga."  
"It's very good to be back." I replied, "But let me change my clothes and take a bath."  
Rowena put her arm in mine and we walked up the stairs together, leaving Godric and Salazar in the hall.


	13. To Capture a Unicorn

To Capture a Unicorn

Rowena stayed with me a while to discuss my house, the new children who had been brought to it and then matters here.  
"Salazar said you have not been going outside enough." I said, Rowena sighed and gave me an apologetic look.  
"I know, I know. You know how I get with my books."  
I put my hands on my hips and raised an eyebrow, Rowena giggled, "Don't do that, you look like my mother."  
"Your mother has some sense, Rowena, you'll get ill if you don't get outside."  
"Well let's go for a walk tomorrow then." Rowena said.  
I sighed and she gave me a hug, "How have the others been, Ro?"  
Rowena pursed her lips and sat back down on my bed, while I poured the heated water sitting on the fire into my bath tub.

"Godric keeps going further and further into the forest, Salazar's going crazy, he keeps having to save Godric from himself and troublesome situations he gets himself into…although, Godric did see a unicorn and I wish I had been there to see it too."  
Rowena looked thoughtfully for a moment then glanced up at me, excitement easily read all over her features. She began pacing the floor very quickly and speaking rapidly. I opened my mouth to speak but Rowena had already began talking.  
"You know the muggles say, and it's hard to tell whether it's from real wizarding knowledge or not; that if men enter a forest and try to capture a unicorn it will run away or even kill them, but if a virgin woman sits down amongst the trees then the unicorn will lie down in her lap…It's a pity I didn't know about such things before my marriage, but perhaps you can help me–"  
"Ro…" I said, but her voice continued.  
"I mean you are still a virgin, aren't you Helga?"

I felt my cheeks flame and I turned back to the bath. Rowena gave a gasp behind me and ran up to my side, her mouth an 'o' of shock and delight.  
"Helga! When? Who was he? Do I know him?"  
"No." I exclaimed quickly, "Um…well it was just…it was just some time ago."  
Rowena nodded, then frowned, "Why didn't you tell me? We could have talked about this all night." She was practically hopping from one foot to the other. I was certain my cheeks were scarlet and I dropped my gaze to my feet. Rowena gently held my arm.  
"Oh…I understand. It's fine. Did he…did he break your heart?"  
"No, no…nothing like that. It's just…" I nervously licked my lips, "We both had different expectations."  
I wasn't exactly sure how that covered it, but for the cleverest witch of her age, Rowena seemed to accept it without much fuss.

"Well I understand and I do hope you meet someone who will treat you admirably and love you, Helga. You deserve that at the very least."  
I smiled bashfully, "Thank you, Rowena."  
She grinned, "I'll let you bathe now. Sorry, I've talked far too much. I'm just so glad you're back and you know how Salazar and Godric get when you're gone. It's amazing how I managed to survive the initial beginning without you among us three." Rowena headed towards the door.  
"Ro," I called and she stopped, "Don't tell Godric or Salazar about…this." I muttered.  
Rowena gave me a smile and winked, "Not another word shall pass my lips."

I sighed and sank lower into the bath, could I not just pretend to be embarrassed that Rowena had brought up my virginity? I was such a useless liar…was that a bad thing or a good thing? I closed my eyes, only hearing the lapping water and the fire crackling in the fireplace. Why couldn't I have changed the subject or just said it was an interesting proposition, but I definitely had no desire to sit in the Forest and wait for a unicorn to lay its head in my lap. The Forest was always too creepy and cold, especially at night, which was when unicorns were most active. I rubbed my forehead. I was vaguely aware of hearing the lock click open, but I dismissed it as my manic thoughts whirled around my head. It was only when the door clicked shut and the bolt went back into place did I open my eyes. Salazar grinned down at me, his eyes raking all over my naked body. I scowled at him and saw him chuckle.

"Again you are defenceless." Salazar tutted. I got up from the bath, water droplets falling down my legs. I turned my back to him and pulled a sheet from the chair, wrapping it around my body and then trying to take up the angriest pose I could, while still feeling a warm flush of desire at his obvious need, the dark hunger in his eyes.  
"What do you want Salazar?"  
He approached me and fingered the top line of the sheet, his fingers slowly caressing the swell of my breasts. I bit my lip, desire and annoyance coursing through me, especially when Salazar's amused smile made me want to both smile foolishly and slap him in the face.  
"You are so annoying." I said, though it did not sound like was irritated by him. He caught his finger in the front of my sheet and pulled me forward to kiss him. Despite my best efforts to keep the sheet around me, Salazar tugged the sheet away from me. I tried to grab it from him, but he threw it behind him and then pulled me closer to him, his warmth burning through his clothing, his hands clasping my breasts. I gave up and pressed my body against his. Letting out a little moan of desire as his fingers trailed down my waist, stroking down the damp curls between my legs.

"We have an hour before dinner." he said, I grabbed the front of his tunic bringing him back to kiss me, while undoing the ties of his jacket. Salazar picked me up and then dropped me on the bed, wrenching the tunic from his back and shoving his breeches down his legs. I was already waiting for him and he quickly plunged himself inside me, gasping as my legs wrapped around him and he began kissing my neck and breasts.  
"How could you make me wait a month, Helga? A whole month." he whispered against my shoulders, tenderly biting on them till I let out a little moan.  
"I'm sorry." I murmured, breathing heavily when he pulled my hips higher.  
"I've dreamt about you; tasting your sweet, little cunt. Keeping you in my bed so you cannot even move by the end of the week."  
I tried to speak, but all that came out of my throat was a deeply longing moan. Salazar thrust deeper and harder inside me. I curled my toes, my breath catching my throat as I felt my body shivering with pleasure on the bed and knowing it would not be long till I reached my peak.

* * *

"We have to go to dinner." I murmured, Salazar didn't reply, but kissed my forehead again. I smiled and put my hand on his chest. "Salazar?"  
"Mm." he agreed with me and threaded his hands through my hair. I smiled and brought my hands up into his own hair, gripping the dark locks at the roots and pulling slightly.  
"Ow, Helga." he said reproachfully, I giggled. He glanced down at me and smiled, gently stroking my lips.  
"We need to go to dinner." I said again, he lowered his head and kissed me. "Aren't you hungry?" I asked.  
"Yes. That's why I want to stay in bed with you." He slid down my body and pulled up my legs again, I gave a little groan of protest, but gave up when he put his head down and kissed my lower lips, before pulling them apart and tasting my inner core. I could feel my body tense again, feeling the deep pleasure building in my body.  
"Do we have to do this now?" I gasped, my hand instinctively curling in his hair again, not knowing whether I meant to pull him away or keep him close. His thumb found my sensitive nub and I pushed my head back on the pillow, thrusting my hips up into his mouth. Through half closed eyes I saw him smirk and press a final closed kiss to my nether lips, before getting up.

I scowled at him, while he pulled his tunic back on. Salazar chuckled softly and pulled me into his arms.  
"I'm going to keep you longing for me, all throughout dinner." he whispered.  
"You can't if I'm sitting next to Rowena." I smirked  
"But will you be sitting next to Rowena?"  
I opened my mouth to say yes, then shut it knowing I wouldn't. Salazar sniggered. I pursed my lips, then grinned.  
"I'll sit next to Godric then."  
He pulled me tightly against him, arms constricting over mine and pressing his lean body against mine, I could feel him stirring again under his breeches.  
"If you dare, I will think nothing of pushing him out of his chair and taking you on the table."  
I shuddered with both fear and anticipation, I bit my lip and he pulled me up to kiss me, mouth hard on mine, his tongue slipping into my mouth, teeth nipping on my lips.

"Godric you will need to create a lesson plan at some point, there's no point in hoping for the best and winging it. These are children. Yes they need creativity and independence, but they also need structure. We can't be taken seriously if you…"  
"Yes, all right, Rowena. Gods above, anyone would think…"  
"What, that I'm wrong?"  
Dinner had started out pleasantly enough, but Godric and Rowena had begun bickering over the schooling and structure of the lessons. I brought the cold glass of wine to my lips, feeling how sensitive they were against the cool glass. I surreptitiously run a finger over them; they were slightly swollen and sore from all our kissing. Yet I knew I would always want more.  
"Godric, Rowena is right. Accept that and start making some plans, not everything can be left to chance." Salazar growled, Rowena looked triumphant, Godric slumped down in his seat and moodily picked at his food, "Also, seeing as Helga is back, an argument is not what should be happening at this table."

I blushed at the mention of me and then felt Salazar's fine hand skim past my leg and delve into my crotch, pressing the fabric of my dress nearer my legs, I arched my hips slightly to have his hand against my groin. Godric coughed uncomfortably and nodded.  
"Apologies, Helga. Yes, we should talk of something else."  
"How about the village we now intend to build near Hogwarts?" I suggested.  
"Well that seems mostly yours and Rowena's idea, what do you intend?" Godric smiled encouragingly at us both. Salazar dug a little deeper into my groin and finding my clit began to rub small circles over it, I pressed my lips together to stop myself from groaning aloud.  
"A place for wizards to bring and raise their families, starting or continuing their businesses." Rowena said, "Helga intends there to be an Inn and I was thinking we could allow older students to visit it at the weekends, perhaps some of the younger ones could even go in the holidays."  
Godric bowed his head in agreement and took a drink from his goblet. "It cannot be like Diagon Alley."  
"No, it will be similar, just smaller." I murmured.  
"Well it sounds like a plan worth seeing through." Salazar said, his ministrations becoming firmer and faster. I nearly dropped my knife.

* * *

_I admit it, not a lot happens in this chapter...it is mostly based on the smut variety. Thank you to my lovely reviewers and my new one isy092, always hate it when I can't thank guest reviewers through PM, so here's my thanks to you :) Your words meant so much to me and here's the new update!_


	14. A Step Back to You

A Step Back to You

"So that's the dormitories seen to, the house feast in part preparation and having been discussed, to be finished tomorrow, store cupboards stocked, portkeys prepared for tomorrow's use…" I muttered to myself, crossing things off my list. I could feel my mind buzzing with excitement and in preparing everything all my skills as a tavern keeper and the mistress of an orphanage had come into use. I adored being kept busy and Rowena had sworn that no sooner had she seen me on one side of the castle, she would turn a corner and I would be on the other side. Godric for all his bravado had still looked a little nervous, though I wagered it was more to do with him making a good and grand impression. Salazar had remained quiet throughout the days leading up to the opening of Hogwarts, his brow cut into lines of worry, his mouth a thin, line of displeasure. He seemed so wrapped up in his worries that one night I had made my way to his study.

"Come in," I was not surprised he was not in his bedroom. As I opened the door the light from the corridor shone across his desk, where he sat reading a heavy book. He barely glanced at me when I walked in and closed the door behind me.  
"Salazar?" I asked and he gave a grunt in response. I rolled my eyes and taking a scrap of paper from the desk, marked the place in his book and yanked it away from him. He opened his mouth in surprised, before scowling and then smirking at me.  
"So this is what happens when I do not pay enough attention to you?" he grinned.  
"This is but the very beginning of what will happen if you do not pay me enough attention." I said, then after he looked temptingly towards his book I asked, "May I sit on your lap?"  
He laughed, warm and sweet to my ears. "Like a common tart?"

I glared at him, then sat in his lap, "This _common tart _may leave if you so abuse her affections."  
He put his arms round my hips and pulled me closer, "I would never do such a thing to my mistress peasant."  
I grumbled under my breath about being called such a name, but he gave a small chuckle and pulled my head down to kiss me. His hand surreptitiously cupped my breast and I gave a small mew of pleasure into his mouth, desiring to feel his fingers dip down into the material over my breasts. I pressed closer to him, feeling his body respond to my obvious desire. He stopped the kiss.  
"Why are you here?" he asked.  
I pouted, "I would have thought that was obvious."

He hid his smile and gently rubbed my thigh, "But for other matters too, I gather? You seem concerned for me."  
I carefully smoothed away the frown lines on his forehead, my fingers skimming over a small amount of stubble on his cheeks.  
"Helga?" he growled and I pulled my hand away, then rested my head on his shoulder my eyes still gazing up at him.  
"You are worried about something, won't you tell me?"  
He let out a sigh and pressed his cheek against my forehead, "I cannot."  
"Cannot or will not?"  
Salazar smirked at that, "Will not, I suppose."  
"If I begged you, would you tell me?"  
"If you begged me? I would be far less likely to tell you, Helga, were you to demean yourself like that."

We sat in silence for a while; Salazar flicked his wand at the fireplace and pale blue flames flickered in the grate by the red and gold ones.  
"You do not match yours to the real ones?" I asked, he shrugged.  
"Why bother?"  
"Mm…I suppose it comes from living with muggles, blue flames are hard to explain away."  
I felt his body tense and I glanced up at his face, "What's wrong?"  
"Nothing." he muttered.  
"Salazar?"  
"I won't tell you, if you keep pestering me." he said angrily, then got up from the seat and paced over to the fire. I swallowed as he glared furiously into the flames and his face looked so pale and harsh in the strange, eerie blue firelight.

"There is a family of muggles," he spat out the last word like it was poison, "on my father's land…he wants them to meet with an accident."  
"Salazar you can't." I cried.  
"I know I can't." he slammed his fist onto the mantelpiece, "But my father insists on it."  
"Disobey him then."  
"And how shall I explain why the muggles still linger on his land?"  
I opened my mouth, then balefully shut it. Salazar's cold eyes regarded me.  
"See, not even you can think of anything. Should I tell Rowena or Godric they will think it my wish, my perverse pleasure."  
"Can they be persuaded to leave of their own accord?"  
Salazar snorted in contempt, "To my father a dead muggle is the only kind there can ever be."

I nervously licked my lips and watched as Salazar turned his head away, his gaze upon the fire once more. I got up from the seat and walked round the desk to be behind him; I carefully wrapped my arms around his chest and pressed mine against his back. I felt his body relax and then he turned to face me.  
"To bed, I have no desire to speak of this anymore. Come to my bed?"  
I nodded and he tenderly cupped my face. Salazar's gaze shifted for a moment and then looked back to mine.  
"I think I…you are important."  
It was enough for me, I kissed him and we went to bed. Afterwards, he rested his head on my shoulder and I stroked through the dark mop of hair, this was a Salazar I had never seen before and I doubted Godric and Rowena had ever seen this Salazar either. He held onto me so tightly as though he would lose me, yet his expression remained so near to fear and weakness I knew I would never let him go.

* * *

We had found as many wizarding families as possible, but it was almost impossible to find any wizard or witches from muggle families. We all knew of what dangers that could lead to and it was more likely that those young witches and wizards would be killed by the Church. Rowena was still trying to find out a way they could be found without alarming their families or their neighbours. We were well aware of how often young children were abandoned because of the talents they had. And if neighbours or authority figures heard of a witch or wizard in the town it was more likely to end up with a death or several.  
"All children should have the chance to learn, the chance of knowledge." Rowena muttered over a long list containing the new students' names.  
"But they need safety too, Ro. We'll find a way to help them some day."  
She smiled softly at me.

We needed every bit of help in getting the students from the meeting places to Hogwarts, apparating to the porkeys proved easy, ensuring everyone was there with their belongings and then guiding them up to the castle was not so much. There was a mixture of excitement and nerves, with several students being sick as soon as they arrived on the forest pathway. As an adult was always needed to ensure order within the castle, Maxence and some his guards, Lord Gryffindor and Gwaine Gryffindor and Alys were assisting with guiding the students to the Great Hall and even fetching some from the portkey places. I was more than relieved when Salazar's father did not appear; Salazar told me that his father was busy abroad.

"He will be missed." I said, when Salazar and I were alone together in the entrance hall; he had a moment to spare to wolf down some food and speak to me a while.  
Salazar snickered, "Don't try to lie Helga, it doesn't suit you."  
"Like lifting my chin up because I have a round face?" I said. Salazar smirked and brought his mouth closer to my ear, his body only slightly pressed against mine, but making my whole body tingle with longing.  
"Ah but it is a very beautiful round face and I particularly like seeing it when I've got my cock buried inside you and have your chest pressed against mine, with that hot, delicious look in your eyes…that's what I like best about it, except when you blush, like now for instance." he smirked and I scowled.

"You are a beast."  
"Only when I'm in your bed." he murmured and my face flushed scarlet in remembering nights and even occasional hours during the day of heady pleasure; Salazar gave a low chuckle. "Speaking of which, that is exactly where I expect to find you after this is finished."  
I gaped at him, while he gave me a quick bow, the arrogant smile plastered all over his face and walked back outside. I was glad I had a moment to calm myself down a little and straighten my dress, before Rowena walked out of the Great Hall and caught sight of me.  
"Goodness Helga, you look awfully flustered, are you ill?"  
"No…no…Just Salazar being stupid as usual." I muttered and Rowena shook her head and smiled sympathetically.  
"Don't let him get to you." she said and gave me a pat on the arm, then turned and continued in the same direction as Salazar.  
'You can talk,' I thought to myself, remembering her anger at him for making some crass remark about the French.

* * *

_A/N: This one is shorter on average than some of my other chapters, but that's because I've written the Sorting ceremony/Feast as well and it's much too long for one chapter, so I've split them into two._

Thank you to my lovely reviewers, including:  
Zeesmuse - Was really imagining a 'certain someone' when writing Salazar's dialogue, especially in the last bit! Horny guy! ;)  
isy092 - Love writing this story, Helga is turning out to be one of my favourite characters to write  
_ashaacorn - What a nice holiday, I'm just happy I have a lovely review from you and thank you so much for your praise of my work. It's so nice to hear it helps your own, that's so complimentary and I would love to read any of yours.  
missdarcymedbh - Me too! Thank you so much. I couldn't find any real meaty (pardon the very gross pun) Salazar/Helga fanfic, so I wrote my own._


	15. The First Sorting

The First Sorting

"Now we are all gathered here, I would like to formally welcome you to Hogwarts, the first school of witchcraft and wizardry. Before we bring the excellent feast Mistress Helga Hufflepuff and the house elves have prepared; we intend to sort you into the houses of Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Slytherin and Gryffindor. This will encourage your own individual talents, while working within your houses." Godric's loud voice boomed over the children, some of whom paled a little at his words.

With Salazar's deep set frown and Rowena's smooth, ethereal look, I gave the children a welcoming smile and saw several looking rather relieved around the Hall; though many were distracted by the glowing candles overheard and the magic ceiling, a dark night sky showing through with bright stars. I saw Hector and Gwenith both looking happy and well, Gwenith gave me a nervous smile and Hector waved, I hid my laughter at some of the children's confused expressions as to why one of the boys was waving at the teachers.

"Black, Alaricus." Rowena read from a scroll and a young boy with dark hair and eyes step forward, he was rather tall for his age and there was a slight arrogant air to his step, for all his eleven years. Salazar step forward.  
"The Black family has strong magic within their veins; their family is one of the oldest within the wizarding world." Salazar said.  
"It should not solely be based on your family's ties, the boy should prove his mind and heart to us." Rowena said. Salazar growled formidably, but assented to Rowena's wish. The Sorting consisted of a long scroll of questions and puzzles. Some more obvious, 'If you had to create a potion that would ensure one thing what would that be? Love, power, glory or wisdom?' and some less so, 'There are three boxes before you, the first is old and cracked with the dirt of time, the second gleaming and new with gold inlaid, the third plain and made of tin with the sign of Merlin. Which one would you open?'

Normally it was easy to tell which student should belong in which house, Hector was sorted into Gryffindor and I was content with that, Gwenith into my own house and Alaricus Black did get sorted into Slytherin. But it was not always so easy. I rarely got involved in the other three arguments, but when one girl, named Letitia Degaré, started to cry when Rowena and Godric were fighting over her, I decided enough was enough.

"Rowena, Godric. Stop this at once." They both quieted, and I was surprised but pleased they had, I turned to the girl, "Where would you like to go?"  
"That's not the point of the Sorting, Helga. You can't just ask students where they'd like to go." Rowena said.  
"Ro, I will not have arguments over this any longer." I turned back to Letitia, "Now, where would you like to go?"  
"Your house." she said miserably, I gave her a warm, sympathetic smile.  
"If that is truly what you want and if Professors Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Slytherin believe that to be acceptable."  
Salazar nodded, a smirk on his lips which I did my best to ignore, knowing that little arrogant smile always made my stomach curl with pleasure and heat. Rowena and Godric grudgingly agreed and Letitia happily went off to sit with her other housemates. I walked back to Salazar's side.

"That was very pleasing to me." he murmured softly.  
"Preventing Godric and Rowena from arguing? Sometimes I believe that is my only role here, stopping you three from arguing all the time." I had not meant to feel so irritable, but I often felt tired from breaking up arguments between my adopted children let alone three adults! Salazar looked somewhat repentant.  
"You are right, we must think of a better way of doing this, it sounded so straight forward when Rowena had it written down."  
I nodded, but said nothing else, keeping my eyes focused on a boy who was sorted into Gryffindor. We were finally nearing the end of the Sorting with the 'W's.  
"I just meant when you stand up for yourself, it's very arousing." Salazar whispered in my ear and I felt my cheeks go pink, I hoped desperately hoped none of the students had seen.  
"Salazar, you should not say such things in the Great Hall."  
He gave a small chuckle and I rolled my eyes at him, though with some affection.

Once the notices and warnings about the Forest had been done by Rowena, I welcomed all the students to the school and started the feast, which was certainly greeted with much enthusiasm by our new students, especially the ones who came from poorer backgrounds and it looked as if their eyes would go as wide as their dinner plates once the food appeared. I gave them all a warning to eat slowly and not too much, otherwise they would very likely be sick. Though it had little effect until Salazar got up and glared at a few, till they would raise their spoons only by inches towards their mouths. Once he had resumed his seat, he turned to us all.

"This Sorting business needs to be rethought. Rowena's _brilliant_ idea of a test clearly did not go to plan. Either the test needs to be changed or we develop an entirely different way of sorting the students." Salazar said.  
Rowena's lips became a thin line, "I seem to remember you praised my plan in sorting the students."  
"Yes, but that was only in theory, none of us could have foreseen how such an event would work out."  
"Salazar has a point; this Sorting caused too much confusion and ambiguity." Godric said.  
"We can't perform occlumency on the students though." Rowena said.  
"Of course not," Salazar supplied, "And may I also point out, it was Helga who first thought of this, not I."  
Rowena's sharp eyes fixed on mine, till I lowered them to my plateful of food.  
"Ro, don't be harsh. Too often it falls to Helga to stop us from fighting and for this school to stand the test of time we need to be strong together." Godric murmured, with an intimate smile towards me. I saw Rowena's grip on her knife tighten considerably and I swallowed nervously.  
"I know that, but I can't think of anything else we could do." Rowena said.  
"Let's not think about it right now, we have another year to try to think of something else." I said and everyone resumed their dinner.

* * *

"I miss having dinner in our rooms; I miss the conversations we all had." Salazar said. He was sitting by my fire again, while I brushed out my hair. He glanced at me, then beckoned me over and tugged on my nightdress to have me sit down beside him. I complied and sank back against his leg.  
"You just miss being able to run your hand up my leg and teasing me under the table." I murmured and heard his soft laughter.  
"Aye, I'll not deny that."  
I finished brushing my hair and felt his hand run through my loose curls, then cup round my face and turn my face up to his. My smile was involuntary when I saw his own and he gently kissed the corner of my mouth. He knelt by my side and brought me into a deep kiss.  
"You are the only woman on this earth who has ever made me smile."  
My smile became stronger and sweeter, he pulled me close against him and the tightness of his hold was probably a little too much, but I didn't want to let him go. He slipped an arm under my legs and lifted me up. I giggled a little. But when he placed me on the bed he silenced me with another kiss.

Salazar was very gentle tonight, lathering kisses all over my body, gentle, closed-mouth kisses and making me moan with longing when he thrust so slowly and sweetly inside me. He held me tightly against him afterwards and barely said a word; he just gazed upwards into the bed canopy. I remembered what he had said about me being the only woman to make him smile. Where there no others? Not even his mother? I kissed his forehead.  
"I'm not doing a very good job, if I'm the only woman who can make you smile." I said and a little smirk came back to his lips. But it did not last long.  
"Are you sure there are no others? Surely your mother made you smile?" I whispered in the darkness and felt his body tense.  
"She died when I was very young."  
"But you cannot remember her making you smile? I remember my father, he used to tell me stories and there would always be a Helga in them. I was very put out when I went to a Dame-school and none of the stories I had been told had a Helga in them."  
"No, Helga, I cannot remember. I did not see her very often as a child, as is the way with children of noble birth. I was only six when she died."

I held him closer, "I am sorry. How did your mother die?"  
His fingers dug into my waist and when he spoke his voice was low and rough, "Hush Helga, I do not need your words. As to her death, it was at the hand of a muggle Priest. He raped her then slit her throat, while I watched. He would have killed me, had not the Black family saved my life."  
"Salazar…" I whispered, finding hot tears prickling my eyes, but knowing he would hate me for them.  
"It was long ago. It does not matter."  
"Salazar, of course it matters–"  
"Helga!" he rolled me onto my back, firm hands keeping my wrists pinned to the bed and his dark eyes glaring above me, "Stop it. I have no desire to think upon it."  
"I'm just…sorry."  
"Sorry will not help me, it never has."  
"Salazar please…"  
He gave a long sigh and then rested his head on my shoulder, "I just hate them all. I hate them all so much."  
I wanted to tell him so badly, through the tightness of my arms around him, through my lips pressed to his mouth and my hands soothingly running through his hair, how I would protect him and love him. I wanted to love him. But I knew he would never let me, Salazar did not only dislike weakness in himself, but in all things. And though I had always seen love as a means of strength, he would never change his mind.

* * *

_A/N: *Sniffs* poor Salazar, never thought I would feel sorry for that guy!_

Also, no Sorting Hat! Apparently, the idea of the Sorting Hat was Gryffindor's idea, as a way of sorting students when all the founders were dead. But there are a couple of problems with this, one of them being we don't know how the founders did sort students at the beginning. I was trying to come up with a dozen ways that didn't involve:  
a. Students using magic (many of them and their parents would have been too scared to use it frequently).  
b. Occlumency.  
c. Mislabeling students (think Neville Longbottom, he even thinks he's been wrongly sorted and would be better in Hufflepuff. How would this be avoided if it was just based on first impressions?)

So I am going to be introducing the Sorting Hat much earlier on and treating the 'How-will-we-sort-students-when-we're-dead?-idea' as a bit of a Hogwarts myth. Sorry devoted HP fans. But that's why this chapter took so long!


	16. To Dwell on Dreams

To Dwell on Dreams

"Good morning class, as some of you may have noticed in your timetable the lesson after this one is potions. Herbology links in directly towards potion making and so while I will spend this first hour teaching you how to care for plants and what their properties are, Professor Slytherin will then take you for potions. Now one of the most important things to recognise in Herbology is that not all magical plants are useful for potions and not all mundane plants are ineffective. The first year will be spent learning how to identify plants that could be dangerous or how they could be used in a potion. Today we shall be looking at a potion you will cover this year, the Forgetfulness potion. The first plant we shall be studying is Valerian, could you open your books to page two and seventy."

The class began to pull their books out from baskets and bags and there was a good deal of rustling of pages and mutterings within the class about finding the right page number. I had my own house and was also teaching Rowena's house, some of the students in my house seemed a little nervous of the Ravenclaws, but most appeared friendly even if they were competitive and clever. Teaching had slowly become easier, at least for me, there were challenges each day but I certainly felt more comfortable overcoming them and with each lesson learnt I knew how to apply what I had learnt to similar situations.

I wasn't so sure if the others were finding their ground, Rowena still found it hard to comprehend that some children would not grasp certain concepts and ideas as swiftly as others did, Salazar had the same problem and he seemed all too keen on keeping a cold demeanour about him, meaning the students rarely went to him if they were finding something difficult; the majority of the students, if not all, loved Godric and his broad smile, his enthusiastic manner in all his classes, though Rowena, Salazar and I were still tearing our hair out when Godric did not stick to his lesson plans and started trying to teach the children advanced magic. We forbad him after the hospital wing had to be created, when a spell went wrong and Larentia Culmus ended up with her face swelling up and Rowena screaming at Godric for being a fool. He swore to keep to his lesson plans after that, though he occasionally showed the children some advanced magic, but warned them not to copy him until they were older. I think it was the best we could hope for.

"Valerian is an incredibly potent plant used in many potions, could anyone name some other than the potion of Forgetfulness?" I asked, a curly haired Ravenclaw's hand shot up.  
"Yes, Miss Yarrow?"  
"The Draught of Living Death."  
"Excellent, ten points to Ravenclaw. That's one of the most infamous potions Valerian Sprigs can be used for. Any others?"  
A fair haired boy called Sam Abbot, who was in my house, cautiously raised his hand.  
"Master Abbot?"  
"A Sleeping Draught?"  
"Yes, well done. Ten points to Hufflepuff."

Several of his fellows sitting around the bench and long table grinned at him; I pulled open my own book to cover my pride of my students. I suppose that was one of my downfalls at teaching, but Slytherins and Ravenclaws always tended to be very clever and even Gryffindors were a bright bunch, so I always felt a little swoop of pride when someone from my house got something right. Not because they were stupid or didn't work hard, I just knew they were often against some fierce competition. I would never deliberately undermine any of the others Houses, I was just content when my students got something right.

* * *

"We need more teachers." I said. It was dinner and the noise of students eating, talking and laughing filled the Hall. I smiled at all of them, this was what I liked best, the students enjoying themselves and talking with their friends, the ones from poorer backgrounds filling out their clothes and getting rosier cheeks.  
"Cernunnos spare us, what else do we need Helga? We've already got a village being planned, a new way of sorting the children needed and now you tell us we need more teachers?" Godric said. I did not know why he was not in his usual jovial mood and despite the ill humour in his tone I continued, though my voice wavered a little.  
"Yes, we do. We won't be able to take on all the classes when more students arrive, I know it was us four who started this together but we should find other talents, I know I'm not as good as Transfiguration as I am at Astronomy and Herbology, we should find the best people for the job. If we build the village then perhaps people who wish to be teachers can…"

Godric suddenly sprang up from the table and made his way down the hall, he marched past the children and walked into the Entrance Hall then up the stairs. Rowena wiped her mouth with her napkin and got up from her chair.  
"I'll go and talk to him, it's a good idea Helga, don't worry about Godric."  
She followed Godric's suit and left the Great Hall, leaving me with Salazar. He seemed unfazed by what had happened, bringing his goblet to his lips, drinking and then continued eating.  
"Go on Helga, what were you saying?" his voice was too casual. I knew he had done something to anger Godric.  
"Salazar? What happened?"  
He sighed irritably, "A disagreement Helga, that is all, it's not for you to worry about."  
"Don't treat me like a child, Salazar."

He finally did me the courtesy of actually looking at me, "Godric and I may be friends, but we don't see eye-to-eye on everything."  
"Of course not, but why…?"  
Salazar put down his knife and spoon and rubbed the bridge between his nose, "Helga, I really don't wish to speak about it. It will only make me angry and I doubt you want the children to see that."  
I blushed, "No, this place deserves to be one of peace, where they feel safe and secure."  
"Good." Salazar sighed, then lent back in his chair, "This will all be forgotten about tomorrow."  
"If you say so."  
Salazar's eyes narrowed at my response and he frowned, but I turned back to my plate and resumed eating. I saw Salazar roll his eyes and then get up from the table.  
"Fine. I will go and apologies to Godric, if he and Rowena aren't busy fucking."  
I nervously bit my lip at his crudeness and watched him leave the Hall. I tried to finish my dinner, but it suddenly felt like many of the students were watching me and a shiver ran down my spine. As I looked up over the busy, talkative Hall I felt a strange awareness that someday I would be the only one left. I would sit at this table, surrounded by many, yet feel entirely alone.

* * *

"Apologies for yester-eve Helga, it was rude of me to dismiss you and your ideas with such aggression. An honourable man should not be so rude towards a lady." Godric smiled at me and gave me a kiss on my hand. I noticed both Rowena and Salazar glance up when Godric gave the gesture, Rowena's expression was schooled into indifference, but her eyes blazed and I knew what Salazar had spoken of was no lie or petty rumour. Rowena loved Godric and they had been together, lain together, but it was more now. Neither Salazar's eyes nor expression gave him away, but there was a small twitch of his mouth and his eyebrows were slightly drawn together. I sat down with the others for breakfast.  
"That is perfectly all right Godric; I should have understood not to bring it up if you were worried about something else."  
He shook his head vehemently, "You hadn't done anything wrong and there was no reason why I should treat you with contempt."  
"Well thank you for your apology."

Salazar pulled my chair out and I felt a tinge of both flattery and worry with both these men paying me attention. I had grown up with the beautiful Rowena, I was far more used to most men ignoring me or just purely being friendly with me, I had almost been jealous at first. But as Rowena tossed her glorious jet black hair and barely paid them any heed, while I snuck off once or twice and secretly kissed boys behind hay stacks, I grew to love the knowledge I won. Wit beyond measure may be a treasure, but it is certainly not the only one.

Rowena passed me a bowl of steaming porridge and another of currents, Godric raised a goblet of spiced ale to his lips and took a slow sip, then swallowed.  
"Helga, you believe we need more teachers?" he said.  
I finished my mouthful, "Eventually, yes. But it would be good to have them sooner rather than later, that way we can work out a curriculum and train some of the teachers."  
Godric nodded then buried his face in his hands, I reached out instinctively towards him, but he shrugged off my hand.  
"No Helga, you're too kind to us sometimes. That suggestion is perfectly reasonable and I was not in the right state of mind yesterday. Now about the Sorting."  
Rowena scowled and rolled her eyes, but she didn't say anything against it. I continued with my porridge, until the room fell deathly quiet and I glanced up. Three pairs of eyes were gazing at my intently and I forgot to blow on my porridge, so it burnt my tongue. I took a quick gulp of cold ale and frowned at them all.  
"What?"  
Godric chuckled, "Any suggestions Helga?"

* * *

_A/N: Thank you again to all my reviewers and an especial welcome to The National Insecurity :) Thanks for reading and reviewing. Next chapter will involve the beginning of the Sorting Hat and the creation of Hogsmede - yes I am mucking around with the timeline a little bit, but then JKR wasn't hot on maths and dates herself, hey we're writers, maths is the devil incarnate ;) lol!_


	17. The Best Laid Plans

The Best Laid Plans

"Helga?"  
I looked up from the work I was marking and saw Rowena standing in the doorway, grinning madly at me. She marched over to my desk, her dark blue gown rustled against the stone flooring and seized hold of my hand. She practically pulled me from my chair and I only managed to grab my cloak from the door before we were running off down the corridor. Several of the students looked up in surprise as we passed. We almost collide with some second years.  
"Ro, where are we going?"  
"The village."

Hogsmeade had begun to be constructed, after our first term we sent letters home with the children at Yuletide telling parents what we intended and how those who had lost their homes due to the burnings could come and live without fear of attack or having to keep their magic secret. There had been floods of letters in response, which for the most part where blessings upon us for safeguarding and teaching their children, but also the joy of having a village created for the children and to keep others safe. Some had replied back with a keen interest of helping build it and setting up their businesses and shops. We had spent months preparing the plans and roadways, but now building had commenced and we believed it should be finished by late summer.

I wondered why Rowena had brought me with her, but she did not wait for my questions and instead brought me down the hill, past the students enjoying the warm sunshine, reading their books and talking with their classmates. There were only a few more days till most of our students went home, I wondered when Hogwarts would stop being an orphanage to others. Surprisingly I had argued with both Rowena and Salazar about such a thing and even Godric had seemed reticent about the idea. I could not believe my dearest friend Rowena had been so adamant with the idea of sending orphaned children back to their towns and villages, where no one really loved or cared for them. I agreed to be their carer and provider while they stayed at Hogwarts, even though that particularly annoyed Salazar.

* * *

"What should happen if one of the wretched things has a nightmare in the night? How are you going to explain what Professor Salazar Slytherin is doing in your bed?" Salazar said to me while I continued placing the books I had borrowed from the library on the shelves.  
"That is ridiculous." I said, not bothering to look at him, but feeling him shift his body closer to mine, so we were barely a hairsbreadth apart. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled and I felt my body instinctively respond to his closeness, his warm breath blowing softly against my cheek. I turned to look at him and we were so close I could have easily leaned my head towards him and kissed him.  
"If you do that everyone will guess." I said. His eyes did not move from mine and a small smile came to his lips.  
"Maybe I want them to guess."  
I blushed and glanced down at my feet, "I thought you didn't want them to know."  
He gave a nonchalant shrug and I suddenly felt irritated, why did he always have to play with me like that? Promising me something, or seeming to, and then swiftly moving out of the way. I sighed irritably and walked past him.

He didn't bother chasing after me or even attempt to show me any attention at dinner, he was quite happy to spend his entire time talking with Rowena. Sometimes I was scared, I was scared I was losing him and yet somehow wanted to. I was tired of all of this, I wanted love, real, solid, boring love. I wanted a man who stayed in our bed morning and night, who woke me up with kisses and gave me one before I fell asleep. I wanted someone who did not always see every conversation as a battle of wit or winning an argument. Yet each time I looked at him and felt that same burning desire and need, I didn't want to give him up. Salazar always made me feel as though I was his last resistance, as though I was water in the desert. He needed me and I liked being needed. Sometimes when he held me at night, the tightness of his arms almost painfully tight, I pretended as though this was what we had. But even as I imagined a little boy with black hair, dark grey-blue eyes and a very serious expression on his small, sweet face, curled up in my arms while I lay against his father, I knew it was never going to happen. I knew that before we begun.

* * *

"You spend so much time alone, Helga. Is everything all right?" Rowena asked.  
"Yes, Rowena. I'm fine, just busy." I gave her a warm smile and Ro grinned back, putting my hand in the crook of her arm; she on the other hand had never seemed in brighter spirits. I had suspicions that it was because she had spent almost a year apart from her husband and family home. Maxence had visited once and Rowena had gone home when Helena had been ill, but as soon as the worse had passed she was back at Hogwarts, her students the greater priority than her husband or child. She and Godric spent nearly every moment in one another's company and I was not so much of a fool to believe that when she went into his study they were not sharing notes on their classes or giving one another books to read. Rowena almost seemed to enjoy nearly getting caught. There were times when I had entered a room and she and Godric had sprung apart, as guilty looking as furtive youths.

"Where are we going Ro?"  
"I already said."  
"But why are we going there?" I asked.  
"You spend too much time indoors, we don't spend enough time together and I thought you would like to see the new tavern that Hogsmeade has. It's run by a man called Isaac Smith."  
I frown in puzzlement as she skips along the path with me in tow, we are now both in the forest, Hogwarts far back in the distance. Something isn't quite right with this. I pull her short and arch my eyebrows at her.  
"Ro, what are you up to?"  
She giggles like a schoolgirl, it is very uncharacteristic of her, "Nothing."  
"Rowena?" she has often accused me of sounding like her mother, but I know I do now. I fold my arms across my chest and frown at her severely, she gives a peal of laughter.  
"Oh Helga, you're so suspicious…but yes, you've caught me out."  
"Caught you out?" I ask.  
She comes back to my side and puts her arm round my waist, "I know you won't like the idea, but honestly Helga, I really thought that maybe…you and Isaac."  
"Me and Isaac, what?" I scowl.  
"Well…" she shrugs, "You were a tavern keeper, he's a tavern keeper."

I instinctively pull my arm away from her, "Rowena!"  
"Oh come on Helga, it's not going to be that bad."  
"You're setting me up with someone."  
"And what if I am?"  
My mouth drops open and I gesticulate wildly with my hands, "That is not the point." I finally manage to say, Rowena rolls her eyes and gives a long suffering sigh.  
"Then what is, Helga? I thought that was what you kind of wanted?"  
"What am I meant to want?"  
"A family, children?"  
"Not with someone I've never met."  
"Well that's why we're meeting him." She says brightly and puts her arm in mine again, "Please Helga, do it for me? Look, just come to the village, have a look around and meet him. I'm not asking you to consider marrying him then and there."

I take in a deep breath and let it out in a sigh, "Does he know about this?"  
Rowena smiles, showing perfectly even, white teeth, "No, this was entirely my idea."  
"Now why doesn't that surprise me?" I mutter and Rowena laughs, though thankfully it has returned to its normal pitch and I cannot help but smile when I see her own.  
"Fine. But I won't have you insinuating anything or making me feel foolish when I'm there."  
"I won't, I promise I won't."  
We continue walking and Rowena smiles as the rare, warm sunlight filters through the trees and a soft breeze blows across the lake and the hillside, bringing the smells of sweet heather honey and summer flowers. The trees are golden and sharp green. I remember lying on a bank covered with a cloak, while a man made me almost weep with pleasure when he kissed my mouth and tasted my tongue, his clever hands holding firm onto my waist.

"Helga?"  
"Hm?" I look up to Rowena, though I'm surprised with the look of concern on her face.  
"You're so quiet of late, though sometimes you can be positively witty."  
I shrug, "It's probably the teaching."  
She nods slowly, "True, but I think it's also because us four spend too much time together."  
"I thought you weren't keen on going home?" I said.  
She gives a little, apologetic smile, "I suppose not, but even so. Salazar is so sharp with everyone, I doubt he can even include his father among his friends. And Godric counts everyone to be his friend, even when some ought not to be."  
"And me?"  
Rowena suddenly stops and pulls me into a hug, she gives me a kiss on my forehead, "You spread yourself too thin."  
"You make me sound like butter." I giggle and she smiles, but nods.  
"Well perhaps it is a fitting metaphor, sometimes I think you're too kind to people, Helga. Sometimes people, me included, need a shove in the right direction rather than kindness. I know you can't help it and honestly it's one of the best things about you. I just don't want people taking advantage of that."  
I hug her back and we walk down to Hogsmeade.

* * *

The road has been cleared, a path laid out with some of the businesses and shops already set up, though none with wares outside. As the men and women continued their work, some recognised us and gave us waves or called out greetings. A plump witch came towards us her hair curled up upon her head and roses in her cheeks. She wore a plum coloured woollen dress and her wand was tucked in the waist.  
"Good afternoon, Lady Rowena and Mistress Hufflepuff, are you both well?"  
"Thank you, we are indeed, Madam Crumb. I hope all is well for you." Rowena said.  
Madam Crumb gave a low curtsey and smiled broadly, "Oh I am indeed, my lady. I am indeed."  
"Is everything well in the village?" I asked.  
"Well apart from a few little squabbles here and there, it's nothing worth worrying about."  
"Good." Rowena said, "Anyway, we are visiting Isaac Smith, seeing how his tavern is going."  
"It's just down the way," Madam Crumb pointed down the street towards the end, where a dark beamed tavern stood, with a thick thatched roof and the ground cleared of weeds and stones. There was no sign outside it, only several barrels, a cart of wooden planks, spades and saws.  
"He's a nice lad, very polite. And…" Madam Crumb leaned in closer, "…I tell you if I was younger. He's a handsome lad." She gave a chuckle and Rowena laughed with her.  
"Your poor husband." Rowena said, but as we turned away I saw Madam Crumb give a smug little smile and a satisfied nod, as we made our way down the street. I wondered if Isaac and I were the last ones to know of this planned match.

* * *

_A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm back at Uni and vice-president of a society, so currently this is a majorly busy time for me. Damn Freshers gave me Freshers' flu too, grrr :( Anyway, I am back and writing and I will try to update as frequently as I can, but I won't promise anything. So thank you to my lovely reviewers for being patient and waiting so long. Much love, xxx_


	18. Summer's Honey Breath

Summer's Honey Breath

The smell of warm sawdust and chopped planks of wood drifted through the air, I lifted my skirts up as we walked down the short path, a donkey looked balefully at me dark eyes framed by lashes, I smiled at the creature and gentle rubbed his dark grey nose. I heard Rowena give a little exasperated sigh behind me, I rolled my eyes and smilingly turned towards her. She once more put my arm in hers and continued towards the front door. She pushed it open and I saw a room half built, the walls still bare and the roof only half covered with thatch, leaving specs of sunshine on the floor. I looked up and saw one man above us working on the roof, while some others work inside. A man with dark curled hair wearing a cream coloured undershirt stood at a table littered with plans. His skin was tanned. An older man with grey hair stood at his side occasionally gesticulating towards different parts of the room. The younger man nodded now and then.

"Good day, Master Smith and Master Hengist." Rowena said, when I remained silent. Both of them turned smiles upon their faces and gave us both a bow, Rowena waved her hand as though they did not need to.  
"Good day to you, Lady Rowena." Master Hengist said, I had met him previously when the village had been first discussed with those who had come to Hogwarts. Master Hengist had come with his sons, one of whom was now at Hogwarts, sadly his wife had been caught by witch-hunters and they could do nothing to save her without endangering their own lives. When they had first arrived I had often gone down to the village to give some comfort and help to Master Hengist, but he now smiled more and swore he would build his shop in honour and remembrance of his wife.  
"Isaac, this is our beloved Mistress Helga Hufflepuff."  
The younger man looked up towards me, his mouth was full, and a dark, small beard outlined his jaw, his warm brown eyes shone with recognition of my name, "Ah. It is an honour to meet you at last, Mistress Helga. I have heard much about you."  
"Oh?" I arched my eyebrows and Hengist chuckled.  
"Nothing to fear, Helga. Only that you once owned a tavern in wales and your mead is some of the finest I've ever tasted."  
I blushed at the compliment, "Thank you, Hengist."

"Hengist why don't you show me the work you've done so far and perhaps Isaac and Helga can compare notes on mead-making?" Rowena's sharp little grin came back and Hengist hid his own broad smile, I rolled my eyes once more as the two of them made their up the stairs, Hengist showing Rowena the work they had done on the bannister and the beams overhead.  
"Well that was subtle." Isaac muttered.  
"Sorry?" I said, turning my gaze towards him.  
Isaac grinned at me, "I assume they have made some plans of our wedding." He tidied away the rolls of parchment. I could feel the heat rush to my cheeks instantly and he glanced up at me. He gave me a sympathetic smile.  
"So are you a victim too? Not just a woman desperate to bed wed."  
"No, I am not." I growled, I bit the inside of my mouth to stop my anger from getting the better of me. I could not believe Rowena had done this, especially as she seemed to have included the entire village in her plans and I seemed the last one to know my forthcoming marriage!

"Come, you look like you could do with a drink and though I am certain you make a very fine mead, I manage to make a fine one myself. Or so I have been told." Isaac took hold of my arm and half pulled, half walked me from the main room into a smaller store cupboard and then down a flight of stairs into a cellar. The air was damp and cool, several tankards were on one side of the room and on the rows of stone shelves were barrels of ale and mead. Isaac walked along the rows until he found one he was looking for and poured out some mead into two tankards. I saw his eyes flicker towards me, a soft shine in the gloom of the room.  
"I assure you none of this was my idea, I think Hengist and Rowena got a little excited when sampling some of the wine and came up with the scheme." Isaac said, handing me a mug and then gesturing for me to go back up the stairs.  
"Nor was it my idea." I muttered.  
I heard his soft laugh behind me, "We have some mischievous friends then."  
"Rowena is not always like that, normally she takes things very seriously." I said, as he locked the door behind us and then walked ahead of me, opening another door that opened onto the back garden. Dark beds of earth, some growing with herbs and healing flowers were already there. At the back of the garden, where the land sloped downwards, a tall oak tree stood with a roughhewn bench underneath.

"It is too warm to be inside and I could do with a rest." Isaac smiled, offering me to sit beside him. I followed his example, but ensured there was a comfortable distance between us.  
"How long have you been working on this place?" I asked.  
"Almost six months, I came later than the rest when I heard Hengist wished to have someone to help with his tavern. Seeing as both of his sons seemed destined for other paths."  
"They are both clever boys." I said, Isaac nodded and took a sip of his mead. I hastily realised I had not tasted it and quickly raised the cup to my lips. The mead tasted sweet, but with a slight bitter tang, there was a sweet taste of apples and honey, a few herbs and spices.

"Cloves?" I asked.  
Isaac chuckled, "Aye, you're correct. How do you make yours?"  
"Honey, water, pears, cloves, lemon and ginger."  
"Mm, that sounds good."  
"As is yours." I murmured, keeping my eyes on the cup clasped tightly in my hands.  
I heard the laugh in his voice, but I did not look up, "Thank you, Mistress Helga."  
"Helga will do." I said.  
"So perhaps a wedding is still on the cards?" Isaac said, but on seeing the flush on my cheeks, he said, "I only jest, Helga. I think I will be having some serious words later with Hengist."  
"And I with Rowena." I cautiously glance up and smile at him, then quickly take another sip of my drink.

"Mead is better warmed at Yuletide." Isaac said.  
"Perhaps everyone should come up to the castle at Yule and we can have a celebration with those from Hogsmeade and Hogwarts." I said.  
"Do you not have any family to go back to?" Isaac asked.  
"I have my friend, Alys, and the children I've adopted, but three of them are now at Hogwarts. It is too far for us to travel. And you? Do you have family?"  
"Nay, most of them are in Calais and I obviously have no wife or children."  
"So you have come far." I said.  
"Travelled to England with my father and mother when I was young, they still reside in London with their bakery, it was my mother who taught me how to run a business and make good ale. I believe you are from Wales?"  
"Yes," I said, "Though for a while I lived in York with Rowena, her mother came from Wales and knew my mother, but when she and my father died, Rowena's mother took me in as a ward. I returned when I was grown and my father's tavern had been left to me."

* * *

We talked for a while longer, I found him a pleasant and easy going man, willing to smile and joke with me. I was almost surprised by how honest he was with me and I with him, I rarely found it easy talking about my past to anyone, yet Isaac seemed to possess some skill in gaining others' trust.  
"…so as Hengist knew I was searching for my own business and as his sons did not seem to possess any interest in becoming brewers or landlords, he wrote to me asking if I would care to join him here." Isaac came to the end of his story thus far, I nodded and handed back the cup.  
"Thank you, the mead was very good. I am sure the tavern will prove a great success."  
"I will have to try some of yours next time." He gave me a small wink, I smiled and got up, securing my cloak around my shoulders.  
"Next time?" I asked. Isaac put the tankards back on the bench. His hand gently caught my elbow.  
"I know Rowena and Hengist had made some half-baked, foolish plan, but I would not mind seeing you again Helga and perhaps, in time, if you would consider it, allowing me the honour of courting you."  
I stopped my mouth from dropping open and nervously looked up into his warm gaze. I felt a strong temptation to curse Rowena and every member of the village who knew of this plan – which was probably everyone, bar Isaac.

"I…I…I have a…it's just…" heat flooded my cheeks and I remembered when Salazar first flirted with me, how I was left stumbling over my words, cheeks as red as autumn apples. Isaac leaned back slightly.  
"You have someone already?" there was a little disappointment in his tone, but his eyes remained gentle and his mouth still quirked up in a smile, though it was soft, so different from Salazar's harsh sneers.  
"No!" I cried. It took me a while to realise what I had just said, it surely would not matter if Isaac knew I had _someone_, I did not need to name names. And the way I had said it nearly convinced me that I had no one. Isaac nodded sympathetically.  
"I see, you had someone then, but are not ready to let them go just yet?" I could feel myself nodding, "Then I will not cajole you into affection for me, you do not even have to consider my courting. Just let me know if you change your mind." He grinned. I balefully looked down to my feet and shuffled them slightly.  
"Rowena is probably waiting, it was very nice to meet you, Helga."  
I managed a smile, "And you, Isaac."  
He suddenly reached down gently for my hand and brought it up to his lips, I felt caught, the warmth of his breath and soft beard tickling my hand. A delicious sense of heat slowly spreading through my body, pooling in my belly. When he caught my eye I did smile then, truly, but after he had picked up the mugs and bid me farewell a cold feeling of guilt and shameful pleasure was all that was left behind. I hurriedly made my way back to Rowena, too scared that Salazar would read me like a book and know everything.

* * *

_A/N: Once more, I'm sorry for the delay. But truth be told, things probably will slow down now. Not going to be making promises of posting next week (I will try to remember, but it's probably for the best if I don't get anyone's hopes up! Lol)! Anyway, thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing, much love xxx_


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